Lt Sulu
by Selene the Slytherin
Summary: Come and read the tale of a bridge officer in love with Lt. Sulu. This story inspired by Rita Arabella Black's story Tour of Duty. If you have read that, you'll know who this character is. R&R. The sequel is up. Visit my profile to get to it.
1. Contradictions

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but if I did Zachary Quinto would be at the top of the list.**

**This story was inspired by Rita Arabella Black's story Tour of Duty, in which she was kind enough to include a character of mine. **

**If you have read that story, this one will give you some insight into why a particular character treats Sulu the way she does. If you haven't, this story can be read independently as the perspective of some random Starfleet officer with a crush on Sulu.**

**Without further ado, the story…**

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I'm a walking contradiction. I want him to notice me, but every time we have the slightest interaction, I invariably treat him as though he were something unpleasant I had happened to step in. As Commander Spock might say, I am a most illogical human female. My reasoning hardly makes sense to me, so how could I possibly expect someone else to understand? But, since you seem so keen on finding out, I guess I can tell you. You're pretty trustworthy, so it doesn't seem likely that you'll go running off to talk to him as soon as I'm done telling you my story. Please, I'm going out on a limb here. Don't tell him anything.

I suppose I had better start about how I fell in love with him before I tell you why I treat him in a manner in such direct opposition to my true feelings for him.

Since the first time I met him, I have had something more than a crush on the _Enterprise_'s helmsman: Hikaru Sulu.

The _Enterprise _was preparing to go to Vulcan, and I had just taken my place on the bridge at the science officer's station, where I would be assisting the Chief Science Officer/First Officer, the half-Vulcan, Spock. Captain Pike gave the order to go to warp, but nothing happened. Confused, several other bridge officers and I turned to the helmsman to find out what had happened.

He was just as confused as the rest of us. A few more moments of utter bewilderment ensued before Commander Spock supplied the answer: Lieutenant Sulu had left the parking brake on. Naturally, being who he was, he used the most complex and technical term for the problematic part of the ship. I think that he, Captain Pike, Lieutenant Sulu, and the engineering crew were the only ones who knew what the "initial something-or-other dampener" really was.

I didn't know what it was myself until I asked Commander Spock once we were at warp. Suddenly, I realized why Sulu had looked so sheepish: he had just informed Captain Pike that he had disengaged the parking brake already. It caught me by surprise how cute he had looked when he finally got the ship working properly; it was as though the parking brake incident had never happened. That wouldn't be the last time during that horrible mission that he would surprise me.

We arrived at Vulcan to find all of our other ships destroyed and a monstrously large ship in orbit around the planet, obviously the guilty party. Kirk was right about the ambush. I watched in awe as Sulu wove in and out of all of the debris. He was a much more skilled pilot than his earlier slip-up had led me to believe.

The ship was hit repeatedly by the gigantic Romulan ship, sending me falling to the floor. If anyone had noticed, they didn't say anything, maybe because I wasn't the only one who had fallen out of their seat. I picked myself up like the Starfleet officer I was, and resumed my place.

Then, the captain of the other ship, the _Narada_, requested(more like, demanded) that Captain Pike come aboard. Communications ceased, and Captain Pike addressed the bridge.

When the captain asked if there were any officers with advanced training in hand-to-hand combat, my heart-rate elevated to a most unhealthy level as I saw Lieutenant Sulu raise his hand. Just looking at him, you would never think he had any sort of combat training, other than what was required for all Starfleet members. My mind raced at a faster pace than my heart. What sort of combat training did he have? The possibilities were practically infinite.

I could swear my heart stopped for a second or two when I was informed that Lieutenant Sulu, Engineer Olson, and Cadet Kirk(who shouldn't have been on board in the first place) were going to space-drop onto the drill. What was he thinking?! Did he know the odds of him surviving the drop, successfully destroying the drill, and returning to the _Enterprise_ uninjured were 2 to 1? It was then I realized that I might be spending a little to much time around Commander Spock.

No sooner did I have time to worry about how my roommate and dear friend, Christine Chapel, was faring in the damaged Medical Bay than I hear the landing team, now comprised of only Kirk and Sulu, inform the bridge crew that the _Narada_ had dropped something into the core of Vulcan.

We receive even more troubling news from the adorable navigator, Chekov, who by the way has the cutest Russian accent ever. I mean, seriously, that kid is like a moonbeam dipped in sugar topped with whipped cream and a smiley face that has been kissed by an angel. Really, it should be a crime to be that freaking cute. I heard he's only seventeen. Perhaps he needs a mommy. Oh, I'd love to be that kid's mom. Then again, I'd probably spoil him rotten. Man, his mom is so lucky to have a kid that adorable as her son. I can only pray that my future chidren turn out to be half that cute…

I mean, the totally masculine and adult Ensign Chekov reported that the Romulan vessel's mysterious projectile was causing a black hole to form at the center of the planet. I was not the only one to gasp in horror, shock, terror, disgust, etc. Even the Acting Captain sounded…emotional.

Everything happened in quick succession after that. Lt. Sulu fell from the drill just as he and Kirk were about to be beamed up. My heart plummeted at a velocity equal to him. Had he survived the dangerous landing and hand-to-hand combat with Romulans only to be killed by a mere fall?

I didn't know the helmsman at all, but I wanted him to live. I wanted the starship pilot who had left the parking brake on, the Lieutenant that had volunteered for a near-suicide mission because he knew he could do the job, the man who stabbed a Romulan through the chest with a collapsible sword…I wanted Hikaru Sulu to live.

I was given the briefest flash of hope when Kirk dove after him. But, Kirk's parachute couldn't take the strain. Now both of them were going to die. I couldn't breath.

Bless every valve, chamber, artery, and every other bit of his heart. Chekov was able to save them, and just before they were about to hit the ground, too.

I won't bore you with the rest of the details about that particular mission. After all, you were there, too.

Hm? Oh, right. I still haven't told you why I treat him the way I do. Sorry, but you'll have to wait for another time to hear that particular story. I'm exhausted, and besides, Christine will be coming back any second and I promised I would make her some brownies.

See you again soon.

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**Reading without reviewing is a fanfiction sin.**

**Other than that, I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible.  
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	2. Sordid Tales

**Disclaimer: No luck yet in my efforts to purchase Zachary Quinto or the Star Trek franchise. Perhaps this is all due to the fact that I am naught but a penniless college student…**

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Welcome back. I'm glad to see you kept your word about not telling anyone what has been said in this room. I really appreciate it. By the way, there are some leftover brownies over there, so help yourself. Make yourself comfortable. Tonight's tale might take a while.

I suppose it's all my older brothers' fault. It's not easy being the youngest of six children, especially when you're the only girl. At first, whenever I had a crush on a guy, the first people I would tell would be my brothers. My whole life, they had teased me about being the baby of the family, and a crybaby in general. I became a tomboy to get over my tendency to cry over the smallest things. And, I figured that having a crush on someone would prove to them that I was a grown-up and not a baby.

How very wrong I was.

Instead of discouraging them, I only added fuel to the fire. Sean(10 years older than me), Patrick(7 years), Orlando(5 years), Cedric(3 years), and Kevin(2 years) went from bad to worse. Not only did they tease _me _mercilessly, they went after any other boy my age whom I treated with more than indifference. Needless to say, I did not have very many male friends until my brothers had all enrolled in Starfleet Academy, and although they were still in the city, they weren't getting involved in my business all of the time. I only had to put up with them on weekends and during the holidays.

But, the psychological damage had already been done.

Although I don't have too much of a problem privately discussing potential love interests with people who have proven themselves trustworthy, like you and Christine, while in public, I will do everything I can to avoid the appearance of infatuation. I know it's crazy and doesn't make sense, I don't need you to tell me that. I guess it's just a defense mechanism, alright?

The more I appeared not to care about something, the less likely it would be to get hurt - this was the most important lesson my brothers taught me during my childhood. It's not a very good one, and has hurt me just as much as it has helped me. I've lost track of all the potential romances that never were, and every single one of them was due to my feigned attitude of superiority and indifference.

But, Sulu is different. No matter what I do to him, he keeps coming back for more. What? You want to know details?...Fine.

The first time we actually spoke to each other was after Captain Kirk's commendation and official appointment as Captian of the _Enterprise_. All of the surviving members of the crew, except Commander Spock of course, had gathered for a celebratory party. I was talking to Christine, who I was very relieved to find alive and well, and Lieutenant Sulu walked past us, accidentally stepping on my foot.

He stopped to apologize and asked if I was alright. Instead of replying that I was fine, as any normal woman would have, I commented "Maybe if you were more observant, you wouldn't have left the parking brake on, nor stepped on my foot so carelessly." He didn't look the slightest bit offended; he just smiled at me and promised to pay more attention in the future.

Our next encounter took place on the bridge. I was delivering some scientific instruments that had just been repaired by Engineering to Commander Spock when the ship encountered some unexpected turbulence. Being the only person who was not securely seated, I stumbled, dropping all of the precision instruments that had just been fixed. The vast majority of them shattered upon hitting the ground. I threw my hands in front of me, hoping to break my fall and avoid getting shards of debris lodged in my face. Unfortunately, my hands got cut up pretty badly. Without even turning around to look at me -I suppose his super keen Vulcan sense of smell let him know I was bleeding- Commander Spock ordered "Someone take Lieutenant Misarte to the Medical Bay. Additionaly, have those instruments returned to Engineering for repairs."

Seriously, I don't understand that guy. His personal aide got hurt, and he doesn't even look to see just how badly I was injured. I know he's part-Vulcan, so I wasn't expecting him to display an emotion like concern. But, isn't it logical to look for and treat the injured after any sort of accident.

Sorry for getting off-track. Anyways, Sulu volunteered to escort me to Medical. I prayed that Christine wasn't on duty, because if she was , I would never hear the end of this. His bedside manner may suck, but at least Doctor McCoy respects patient-doctor confidentiality. If I told him not to say who escorted me here, he wouldn't tell.

So, as soon as we were away from the bridge, Sulu asked if I was alright. My heart was beating so loudly, I was almost certain he could hear it. Truthfully, I was touched by his concern. It made me glad to know that he cared about my well-being enough to walk me to Medical, even though that little ball of Russian sunshine could have easily done it. But, the words that came out of my mouth were in complete contradiction to the thoughts in my mind.

"Do I look okay to you?" I snapped. "My hands are leaving a trail of blood halfway across the ship. Not to mention, they hurt like hell, too." I held one of them up as proof of my words. A scarlet drop fell from my palm down the sleeve of my blue dress. "If you could just learn to drive the damn ship properly, I could be doing my job right now, instead of going to go get bandaged up like some little kid who just scraped her knee. I think you take some kind of sick satisfaction in making me look like an idiot every time we come into contact with each other," I spat, glaring fiercely at him.

If I can drive him away now, he won't get hurt and I won't get hurt; everyone wins.

To his credit, he wasn't the slightest bit intimidated. In fact, he pulled a cloth tissue from…Actually, I don't know where the hell he got it…Anyway, he used it to wipe the streak of blood off of my forearm. "I'll take your advice under consideration. Sorry I always seem to be the cause of you getting hurt. Believe me, I don't do it on purpose. I-"

I interrupted him there. I wouldn't let him finish. I _couldn't_ let him finish. It would probably be something very sweet and endearing, and my carefully constructed façade would crack. Then, I would throw myself into his arms, and we would proceed to make wild passionate love right in the middle of a corridor, not caring who or what happened to see us. That is why I could not let him finish his sentence.

I yanked my hand away, which forced some of the shards even deeper into their wounds-something I did not feel the need to inform him of. "I didn't ask you for an apology. I'm already irritated enough because of my damn hands. So, if you don't want to explain to Doctor McCoy why you have a bloody handprint across your face, I suggest you stop speaking to me right now."

I couldn't make it an order because we were both of the same rank, but he acquiesced nonetheless. We walked the rest of the way to Medical Bay in silence. Blessed, sweet, uncomfortable, and awkward silence.

Finally, we arrived. The doctor greeted us in his usual fashion. "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not your personal servant. I don't have the time to be waiting on a careless bridge officer who can't watch where she's going."

"Don't you blame this on me, you miserable misogynistic masochist. It isn't my fault that the helmsman decided to perform some spatial acrobatics and didn't feel the need to warn the crew, so that they could all take proper precautions. You want to blame someone, blame him," I retorted, using my thumb to gesture at Sulu, who was standing behind me in the doorway.

That was a stupid move, clenching my hand like that had caused a surprising amount of pain. McCoy suddenly went into Doctor Mode. Much more gently than I would have thought him capable, he guided me to a bed and began examining my hand. You know, as long as he keeps his mouth shut, he's not that bad of a doctor.

For a few minutes, there was more silence. It wasn't awkward like before. It was more…focused. McCoy was working, and I didn't want to distract the physician from his work. Without warning, McCoy looked up from my almost healed left hand (he had yet to treat my right). He turned to Sulu, who hadn't moved from the doorway.

"Are you hurt, too?"

"No."

"Then what the hell are you still doing here? Don't you have something more important to be doing? Oh, I don't know…Maybe like FLYING THE GODDAMN SHIP!"

"I just wanted to make sure-"

"Don't care. Out."

"But, she-"

"Is a full-grown woman, not a damn child! She doesn't need you here to babysit her."

"But, Doctor-"

"As Chief Medical Officer, I am giving you five seconds to remove yourself from my Medical Bay before I call for Security Officers to remove you by force," he threatened, narrowing his eyes.

It was no bluff. Hell, McCoy looked so pissed that Sulu was questioning him in his own domain, I was surprised McCoy hadn't thrown him out all by himself.

"I'll see you on the back on the bridge once you've recovered," the helmsman said as means of a farewell. It was as though my previous admonitions had gone in one ear and out the other. Hikaru never ceased to surprise me with his patience.

You look like you've had enough of Story Time for one night, so I'll let you go get some rest. Don't worry, I'll have plenty more tales of my romantic misadventures with Lieutenant Sulu ready for the next time you decide to drop by.

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You know the drill folks. Read, Review, Alert, Whatever.**


	3. The Consequences of Inhaling

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a little plastic toy model of Spock Prime's ship, which my parental units were kind enough to obtain for me when they went to Burger King for lunch. Holy crap! It talks! When I press the red button on it, you can hear Captain Crunch…I mean, Kirk…say "You're going to be able to fly this thing, right?" Man, what a rip-off. It's Spock's ship. What the hell is Kirk talking for? Hell, I could understand if it was Leonard Nimoy(who is the patron saint of epicness), but why Kirk? I expected this from Shatner, but not you, Chris Pine. I'm so disappointed in you. Go to your trailer.

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Back again, huh? You must really love all of these stories of mine. Go on, make yourself comfortable while I decide which stories I will regale you with this evening. Hmm…So many to choose from…I've got it!

Alright, this one is really funny. It was horribly embarrassing when it happened, but everything is hilarious in retrospect.

Commander Spock and I were analyzing a soil sample from the planet Elenes V when we noticed a strange smell. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was definitely something I had never smelled before. I don't think I would be able to describe it to you adequately, even now. But, whatever it was, it was intoxicating – literally. Whatever was in that dust caused us to lose all of our inhibitions. Anything we were thinking, we said. Anything we felt, we acted upon.

After first inhaling it, I turned to Commander Spock and commented, "That was weird."

"Obviously," he replied, rolling his eyes. Under the influence of the mysterious dust, he no longer made any pretence of politeness or civility.

"You know, although you are a pompous jackass most of the time, I still think your ears are really sexy. Can I touch them?" I asked, wide-eyed as I reached out to touch them.

"No! They're my ears!" he shouted, clapping his hands over them in an effort to shield them from me. "What the hell is it with you human women and pointy ears? Do you all have some kind of ear fetish?"

His raised voice drew the attention of the rest of the bridge.

"Is there a problem over there, Lieutenant?" Captain Kirk asked, looking particularly confused.

"He won't let me play with his ears," I answered, my voice breaking as a few tears managed to escape from my eyes, while I pointed accusingly at the first officer.

"No means no! Captain, are you really gonna let her ear-rape me?" Spock queried, looking offended and betrayed.

Now, Kirk was trying desperately not to laugh. Uhura, however, was glaring daggers at me. I couldn't blame her; I would have done the same thing to her if she were harassing Sulu the same way I was annoying Spock.

"What happened?" Kirk inquired, trying to gain some control of the rapidly deteriorating situation.

"It's probably something in the dirt, you man-whore," Spock answered, with the air of someone explaining two-plus-two equals four to a child.

Snickers erupted across the bridge. Kirk was almost stunned into speechlessness. "D-did you just call me a man-whore?"

"Well, you do act like one all of the time. There was that Orion chick back at the Academy, that Andorrian girl on Omicron Perci-ai VIII, about eighty percent of the nurses in Medical - my roommate included, and you won't stop hitting on Uhura even though half the damn galaxy knows she's involved with The Professor over there. And don't think I've forgotten about that night at that club where I happened to see you leaving with - "

"That's enough, Lieutenant Misarte," Kirk interrupted angrily. He had made me swear that I would never tell anyone who he had left the bar with that night. That was the closest I got to spilling the beans. Plead all you want, I'm not going to tell you. Now, where was I?

"Perhaps you and Commander Spock should go to Medical" Chekov asked from the navigational panel.

"Pavykins!" I squeaked, flouncing over to him and promptly positioning myself in his lap. He sputtered incoherently for a few moments before I pressed his head to my chest. "If anyone else on the ship starts picking on you, let me know, ok? Don't let anyone be mean to you just because you're younger than they are. They're just jealous of how brilliant you are. Alright?"

"Y-yes ma'am. I-I mean, Lieutenant. I-I mean…Ah, I don't know vat I mean," he stammered, his face turning as red as the uniforms of the operations crew.

The bridge had dissolved into chaos. Spock was serenading Uhura with Vulcan love songs from the days before Surak taught them about logic. She was quite self-conscious, but, I think she enjoyed the public display of affection. Kirk was nowhere to be found, but it was assumed that he had gone to fetch Doctor McCoy.

After Chekov had passed out from all of the blood rushing to his head, Sulu demanded my attention. "There, you broke him. Mind getting off of him now?"

Obediently, I stood. "Are you jealous? That is so cute. I like it when you get all bossy like that. You don't do it often enough. _Sou desu ka, Hikaru-kun?_"

His eyes widened in surprise. "_Nihongo wo hanasu_?"

"_Ee. konpyuuta de naratta_."

"_Doushite?_" he asked, perplexed.

I sashayed over to his chair, and took a seat in his lap. I pressed a quick kiss on his cheek before I whispered secretively into his ear: "_Anata no tame ni._"

He looked at me, dazed. "_Hontou ni?_" he asked, almost as if he didn't dare to believe me.

"_Shinjitte, onegai,_" I murmured, leaning forward so that I could kiss him for real.

I didn't know whether to thank or curse whatever gods there are for the interruption that demanded everyone's attention.

Doctor McCoy had come bursting onto the bridge, with the captain right behind him. "Alright. Spock, Misarte, follow me to Medical." He glanced over to the navigator's chair. We obeyed unquestioningly and unhesitatingly. "You'd better bring him too, Jim. Thompson, grab that dirt and take it to the lab so I can analyze it properly and see if I can make an antidote."

Luckily for First Officer Elf-Boy and I, McCoy was able to whip up a remedy for us much sooner than we dared hope for. Again, I was grateful for Christine's absence – the less awkward questions, the better.

Chekov regained consciousness fairly quickly, too. But, as soon as he caught my eye, his face turned redder than a bowl of borscht, and he rolled over to avoid looking at me. Although, he claimed it was a headache brought on by the excess blood flow.

When Commander Legolas and I returned to the bridge, we were greeted by hushed laughter. In a surprising action of…niceness, the Captain immeadiately ordered that the laughing stop. Commander Spock and I were the victims of a chemical accident while fulfilling our duties, and we were not to be mocked because of it.

For a man-whore, Kirk can be decent sometimes.

Damn, look at the time. It looks like there won't be time to tell you another story. Tough luck. Drop by again some other time. I've got a million more of these stories for you.

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_Sou desu ka, Hikaru-kun? – Isn't that right, Hikaru?_

_Nihongo wo hanasu? – You speak Japanese? _

_Ee, konpyuuta de narrata. – Yeah. I learned from a computer._

_Doushite? – Why?_

_Anata no tame ni. – For you. _or _For your sake._

_Hontou ni? – Really? _or _Truly?_

_Shinjitte, onegai. – Please, trust me.

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**Do you have any ideas? Let me know, and if I like it, I might turn it into a chapter.**


	4. Adventures in Babysitting: Part I

**Disclaimer: If you guys haven't figured out that I don't own Star Trek by now, you never will.**

**Special thanks: Rita Arabella Black and Changgirl. You ladies know why.**

**Oh, and I'd like to register my astonishment that no one has yet made the connection between the names of Lieutenant Misarte's (pronounced miss-sar-TAY, by the way) brothers, and the name of my favorite ST character. Now that I have brought this up, I'm sure I'll be getting plenty of reviews with the answer. Okay, enough ranting for now. Onto the story.

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**Hey, nice to see you've invaded my private quarters again, just to hear more embarrassing stories of mine. You know, I'm starting to feel used. I mean, you're always coming over here to listen to me gossip, but I never get to hear any stories of yours. How about you tell me one of yours before I tell you another one of mine? No? Figures. You're lucky I don't call Security and have you locked up.

Okay, I've got three stories prepared for tonight, but they're all really long, so we'll only have time for one. I'll give you a summary of each, and then you pick the one you want to hear most, alright?

Your options are: (1) the time most of the bridge crew got stuck babysitting my nephews, (2) the time the bridge crew accidentally encountered a nude beach while on shore leave in Maui, or (3) the time Captain Kirk tried to make strip-aerobics mandatory exercise for all female officers. Take your pick. I'll wait.

Number one? Seriously? No, I'm not making fun of your choice. I just thought you'd be more interested in the stories revolving around nudity. It's no big deal. Actually, it will give me some time to find the holos I recorded during both incidents.

Alright, onto the baby story.

It was horrible.

My three eldest brothers decided to go on their second honeymoons at the same time, although, I think it was just so they could tag along on Cedric and Kevin's honeymoons. And, since none of them trust the Starfleet child care facilities for reasons that will be explained later, I got stuck watching all of my nephews at the same time.

Let me give you the roster: Sean has two sons (Eric–age 8, and Adam–age 6); Patrick has three boys (Alex–age 7, and twins Thomas and Richard–age 5); and Orlando has five (Calvin–age 4, Aaron–age 3, James–age 2, Christopher–age 1, and the newborn, Zachary). That amounts to a grand total of ten little boys, with another on the way. I'll give you three guesses as to who the father is.

You have been paying attention. It's Orlando's. I swear I haven't seen Michelle not pregnant since their wedding day. Last I heard, it was another boy, who they are planning to name William.

Honestly, haven't they ever heard of birth control?

Anyway, I get a comm from the eldest three, asking me if I'll watch their kids for about a week after Cedric and Kevin's wedding.

No, they weren't marrying each other. They've been inseparable since they were kids, so they decided to hold a double wedding.

"C'mon, sis. If your captain is going to grant you personal leave to go to the wedding, he won't have a problem with you bringing a few kids on board for a couple of days," Sean reasoned in a pitiful attempt to convince me everything would be alright.

"What?!" I shot back. "We're not talking about one or two of them. You guys are asking me to look after all bloody ten of them–while I'm on duty! What do you expect me to do, assign most of them to other people on the bridge while I look after Zach and Chris?" I asked sarcastically.

"That's a brilliant idea. No wonder you're a scientist," Patrick responded, sporting an ill-boding evil grin.

"Guys, I was just kidd-"

"Thanks again, sis."

"Shut up, Orly. This is mostly your fault anyways. If you could just keep it in your pants, I'd only have five kids to look after and not ten."

"Oh, you're just jealous 'cause you need to get laid," he retorted.

As I tried–and failed–to formulate a response, they terminated the comm with a chorus of "See you at the wedding."

Now, I had no choice but to go ask the captain for permission. It was one of the most terrifying walks to the bridge I had ever experienced. Most of the time, it was when I was walking away from the bridge that something bad had happened.

Hesitantly, I approached the captain's chair. "Umm, Captain?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"You remember that you granted me a few days leave to participate in my brothers' wedding," I began, not wanting to drop the bomb too soon.

"Yeah. Has there been a change of plans?"

"Yes and no," I stalled.

"Out with it, Lieutenant. What's going on?"

"Well, you see, sir, my other brothers want me to watch their children for them for about a week after the wedding."

"I don't see a problem with having one or two little scamps on board for a few days," he said with a smile, as though he had just negotiated a peace treaty with the Klingons. I mumbled the true number under my breath. The smile dropped from his face as he strained forward to hear me better. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Mind running that by me again?"

"I said, 'it's ten boys, from eight to newborn', sir," I repeated, not daring to meet his eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he shouted, standing up in shock. Now, all eyes were on us. "Just how many brothers do you have, Misarte?"

"Five, sir."

"Don't they know that Starfleet offers a free child care program for all employees?" he asked, looking aghast at the thought of ten small children running amok on his ship.

"Well, you see, sir…There was an incident with my eldest brother Sean's eldest son, Eric. When Eric's little brother, Adam, was being born, Sean left Eric at one of the child care facilities. One of the attendants wasn't paying attention to the list of children with allergies and gave Eric a peanut butter sandwich. Eric went into anaphylactic shock, but emergency medical personnel were able to save him. Now, none of my brothers trusts the official facilities. For all intents and purposes, I am their Starfleet childcare provider," I explained hurriedly.

"But, you can't possibly take care of ten kids all by yourself," he noted with concern. Whether that concern was for me or his ship, I couldn't tell.

"Well, it was suggested…" I paused. Captain Kirk nodded encouragingly while the rest of the bridge–with one pointy-eared exception–waited with baited breath to hear the idea. "It was suggested that I hand off the eight eldest to other members of the bridge crew, while I watch the babies, Zach and Chris.

In a move that caught me entirely by surprise, Kirk addressed the bridge. "Any volunteers?" he asked. Everyone raised their hand, even Spock, although Uhura had to elbow him in the chest to get him to do it.


	5. Adventures in Babysitting: Part II

"Well, it looks like that matter is settled, then," Kirk said, turning to me with a wide grin. "Now, give us some data on these little brats of yours, and we'll volunteer to take care of the one that sounds the best to us."

"Aye, sir," I acknowledged. "And, thanks for agreeing to this, everyone. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah. Save the sappy stuff and let's get the ball rolling," Kirk teased.

"Alright, the eldest is Eric. He's eight years and allergic to peanuts; but, he's really quiet and inquisitive. He's definitely the best-behaved of the lot, so, you don't need to worry about him giving you any trouble."

Commander McPointyEars spoke first. "Logic dictates that this child sounds the most logical, therefore, it would be logical for me who is the most logical person ever to engage in logical logicness while caring for the logical child."

Okay, he didn't really say that. But, you catch my drift.

"Next is Alex, Patrick's eldest son. He's seven and is _always_ getting into trouble. Even if you give him a direct order, he'll find someway to twist your words so that he is allowed to do whatever he pleases," I explained, knowing that no one in their right mind would want to look after him for a week.

"I like the sound of this kid," Kirk said, proving my thesis. "I'll keep an eye on him for you."

"Thank you, sir. Now we have Adam, Eric's little brother. He's six years old and loves to talk. Seriously, the only time this kid shuts up is when he's eating or eavesdropping. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he's mean about it. He just likes to hear new words, and he's always talking so that he'll learn to use the new words in their proper contexts."

"He sounds adorable. I'll take him," Uhura volunteered.

"That'll be great, thanks," I paused for a second. I had come to the problem two. "Thomas and Richard are five year-old twins, and Alex's younger brothers. When they're together, they tend to keep to themselves, but are very friendly and will allow you to play with them."

"Vat happens if they are separated?" Chekov asked, blushing slightly. The poor guy was still traumatized from the Mystery Dust Incident.

"All hell breaks loose. They'll scream, cry, break things, and anything else they can think of, until you bring them back together. That's why they'll have to be taken care of by two people who work right next to each other," I explained, preparing to have to look after them myself, in addition to the babies.

"Chekov and I will do it," Sulu said, turning to Chekov, who nodded his consent.

Oh, I should probably let you know that Kirk ordered the rest of the crew to pretend the Mystery Dust Incident never happened, but, since McLogic and I weren't included in that number, it's not against regulations for me to tell you about it. Anyways…

"Well, that just leaves Orlando's kids. Calvin, who is four, likes to be the tough guy; always looking out for his brothers, and pretending he doesn't feel pain. Aaron, three, is still a bit of a crybaby. If he doesn't think he is receiving adequate attention, he'll lay on the crocodile tears until he gets some attention. And, James, who is two, is just a really bright, smiley kid."

Security Officer Karen Thompson took Calvin, while Communications Officers Westley Neighbour and Lucy Vesta accepted responsibility for Aaron and James, respectively.

"Lieutenant Misarte."

"Yes, Captain Logic?"

"Will you be able to adequately perform your duties while tending to the needs of two infants?"

"Indeed, Commander. And, if I begin to feel overwhelmed, Eric will be capable of assisting me."

That shut up Logic Boy really quick.

"Understood."

"Hey, Misarte," Kirk called, demanding my attention. "Where are the little monsters going to sleep?"

I hadn't thought of that, so, I improvised. "Umm, well, they could all take their naps on the bridge. It's usually quiet enough, and all we would need to do is locate some mats and blankets for them to use. As for actually sleeping for the night…There's no way that all of them will fit in the room I share with Christine. Plus, I couldn't impose on her like that. Is there even a room on this ship big enough for 1 adult, 6 small children, 2 toddlers, and 2 babies?" I wondered aloud.

"I believe my quarters will be sufficient."

"I couldn't impose, sir. Besides, where will you sleep?"

"I have nothing to say on the matter."

Which of course is code for: the pointy-eared pervert is going to be shacking up with Uhura for the week.

The next day, after we had gotten all of the logistics sorted out, it was time for me to beam back to Earth for the wedding.

The wedding was actually pretty normal for my brothers.

Kevin was marrying a Betazoid female, so everyone had to go naked at the wedding. At first, this sounded like a gift from above to them: they'd get to see all the hot bridesmaids naked.

Then they realized several things: their baby sister was on of the bridesmaids, _everyone_ would be naked – including them, so there would be nothing to hide at the wedding. Needless to say, this supposed blessing became a curse very quickly.

Luckily, we were all able to put our clothes back on for the reception – which the kids were allowed to attend. It almost makes me wish I had brought a date. Captain Kirk had only been too eager to volunteer when he heard it was going to be a Betazoid wedding, but, I wasn't about to introduce a wolf into a fold of sheep.

The reception was a blast. Although they are inconsiderate assholes, my brothers sure know how to party. Sean, Patrick, Orlando, and I made some very funny toasts at the expense of our newlywed siblings. There was dancing, and cake – all pretty standard. And, I was the recipient of a fair amount of heckling from them when I caught not one, but both bouquets.

The party came to an end a little too quickly for my liking, mostly because that meant I would be in charge of ten kids for a week. But, I had to do it. By bribing them with the promise of candy, I was able to get the eight of them that didn't need to be carried to stand still long enough to be beamed aboard the ship.

The rest of the babysitting team was already standing by when we re-materialized in the transporter room. Having already given the crew the lowdown on the kids, I only needed to introduce the kids to the crew.

"Eric, this is Commander Spock. He's the Chief Science Officer, as well as First Officer, and he'll be helping me to keep an eye on you during the day. Since, I am his personal aide, that means I'll be able to keep an eye on you, too, and, should the need arise, get your help taking care of the babies." Eric nodded solemnly, and looked up at Spock's ears.

"Aunt Lene **(a/n: pronounced lee-nee)**, he's a Vulcan," he commented, wide-eyed.

"Indeed," Spock commented, clearly reserving judgement.

"Moving on…Alex, this is Captain Kirk. He'll be helping me look after you."

"You mean, I get to hang out with the captain, Auntie?"

"You sure do."

"AWESOME!"

They hadn't even spoken to each other yet, but one could already sense a bond forming between the two troublemakers.

"Would you look at this ship. Isn't it huge? I can't believe you got assigned to the biggest ship in the bunch, Auntie. And, you really got all of the important people to help watch us? That is really cool. Even the captain is gonna help. Is he really the captain though? He doesn't look old enough. The captain of Daddy's ship looks really old, but he's pretty nice. Is your captain nice, Auntie? Hey, Auntie, what do you do on the ship? I heard that you help the pointy-eared guy, but what does that mean? Maybe-"

"Okay, that's enough Adam. There will be time for questions later. Lieutenant Uhura, our Chief Communications Officer, will be able to answer any questions you might have." Uhura smiled brightly at the vociferous little boy, who immediately went to her side and began firing away more questions, which she answered just as soon as he asked them.

Thomas and Richard, who had previously been hanging out near the back, slowly edged their way forward. "Will we be split up, Auntie?" they asked simultaneously.

"Of course not, guys. I actually got the guys who fly the ship to look after the tow of you. They work right next to each other, so there's no need for you two to get upset. Lieutenant Sulu is the helmsman, the guy who steers the ship, and Ensign Chekov is the navigator, the guy who tells the ship where to go," I explained, steering the twins in their direction.

"Fascinating," Adam commented from Uhura's side.

You could practically hear Spock's eyebrow being raised, even through all the snickers.

"Did I say something wrong, Auntie?" He asked self-conciously.

"No, dear. Of course not. It's just that Mr. Spock says that a lot, and you reminded us of him for a minute."

"Logically speaking, it is considered rude to talk about a being as though they were not present."

"Calm down, Spock," Kirk urged, light-heartedly.

"I am not upset, Captain, therefore your wish for me to 'calm down' is illogical."

"Guys," I said, aware that I was upbraiding my commanding officers, "Not in front of the kids."

Kirk laughed while Spock replied, "I apologize, Lieutenant."

Calvin, Aaron, and James went to their respective keepers, and then we all made our way to the bridge.

"Auntie, would you like me to hold Chris for you?" Eric offered.

"Are you sure you can handle him?"

"Yes, Auntie."

"At ease, Lieutenant. If it appears that Eric is likely to drop the infant, my reflexes are sufficiently fast enough to catch him before he is injured."

"Um, thanks, sir?" I replied, carefully handing Chris to Eric.

As soon as the door to the bridge opened, everyone who could walk (except Eric) ran in and began inspecting everything that they could get there hands on.

"Mr. Spock, what does this do?"

"Ms. Uhura, how many languages do you speak?"

"How old are you?" was asked by the twins, although Thomas asked Chekov and Richard asked Kirk.

"Auntie, where do you work?"

"Is Mr. Spock always no fun?"

"Where are we gonna sleep?"

"I'm hungry."

"I'm tired."

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

Everyone stopped and looked at Eric, who responded, "I didn't want to be left out of the conversation."

It was going to be a long week.


	6. Adventures in Babysitting: Part III

Now that everyone had gone back to their proper places on the bridge, the children got settled in to their new places as well.

Eric was sitting on the floor between Spock's chair and my own, playing quietly with baby Chris. Spock was running scans on the space around us; you know, keeping an eye out for other vessels, astronomical anomalies, and other things of that nature. I was analyzing readouts from various samples that had already been processed, while gently rocking tiny, little Zach to sleep.

Eric looked up to our array of scientific equipment. "Mr. Spock, what does that do?" he asked quietly, pointing at the gravitational sensors.

In a display of paternal instinct I didn't know he had, Inspector Logic gently picked up baby Chris and invited Eric to stand up and join him. Slowly, making sure Eric would be able to follow what he was saying, he pointed out various flashing lights and explained what each of them meant. Eric nodded, his face calm and serene, although I knew he was eager to be learning such new things.

All the kids were – well, everyone except the babies, that is. After all, none of them had ever been allowed on the bridge on any of their parents' ships.

Captain Perv was pointing out each of the functions of his command chair to Alex, who was soaking up all of the information like a sponge. I sensed a future command-track cadet in the making. All the universe needed was for Alex to become a captain, too. Wasn't one Kirk enough?

"Wanna give the crew some orders?" he suggested, allowing Alex to sit in the command chair.

Oh, dear god. What had he just done?

Alex didn't need to be asked twice. "Auntie, bring me some candy," he demanded.

"I'm not a yeoman, Alex," I replied, disregarding his "order". The last thing I needed was for them to start questioning my authority.

Alex didn't take kindly to my refusal. He slammed his fist down on one of the armrests. "Insubordination will not be tolerated, Lieutenant!" he threatened.

"Number one, don't teach him those words, if you please Captain. Number two, you are not my captain, Alex. I am your aunt. And, I have a friend in Medical. I can have her get our Chief Medical Officer to declare you unfit for command, and then you'd have to take a nice, long nap in Medical until you've calmed down a bit."

Alex paled slightly, but, he didn't back down. As annoying as it was, the kid had courage. "You wouldn't dare."

"You don't think so?" I asked with a grin.

The rest of the crew (and kids) watched with silent amusement as I paged Medical. Christine answered. "Is there a problem, Bridge?" she asked, sounding all professional. Aw, she made me so proud when she did that.

"Nurse Chapel, can you send McCoy up here? We have someone up here who's unfit for duty, and we need the CMO to declare it, just so it's official," I requested.

"Right away, Bridge," Christine replied, terminating the comm.

A few moments later, McCoy came rushing onto the bridge. Apparently, Christine had told him something about an officer and an emergency, so you can imagine how ticked off he was when he saw not only all of the kids everywhere on the bridge, but one in the captain's chair.

"Where the hell did all of these kids come from, Jim?" He asked, almost looking confused for a minute. He looked like he had gotten hit over the head with a blunt object when he saw Spock holding a baby.

"It's alright, Bones. We're just doing a favor for Lieutenant Misarte," Kirk explained.

"Dammit, Jim! This is a starship, not a babysitting facility. And these children can't be yours, Misarte. I would have seen it on your record."

"No, Doctor. They're my nephews. I am doing a favor for my brothers," I explained, trying to hush Zach, who had been woken up when Alex banged his fist down on the chair.

"Try to watch the language, Bones. There are small kids present," Jim suggested.

"Wait a damn minute, Jim. Why am I even up here? Chapel mentioned something about an officer unfit for duty."

"That would be him, Doctor," I said, pointing at Alex, who was now holding on to the command chair for dear life.

"You've got to be kidding me," McCoy said, disbelieving.

I shook my head with a grin.

"Do I have to, Jim?" he asked, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else in the universe but right here.

Kirk just grinned, clearly enjoying the show, just like everyone else. He wasn't going to take sides in this.

As much as it pissed him off to do so, McCoy asked Spock, the First Officer, what he should do. "Well, Jim's no help. What should I do?"

"Doctor, I believe it is illogical to have a seven year-old human child in command of a starship. He must be removed from command."

"This is mutiny!" Alex ranted. "I'm having you and Mr. Spock charged with mutiny, Auntie. I'll have the both of you brought before Starfleet Command on full charges. This will not be tolerated. Someone get Security. I-"

"That's it, half-pint," McCoy said, finally losing patience with the situation. He pulled Alex from the command chair and held the struggling child under his arm like a football, while Kirk took his rightful place in the command chair. As McCoy set him down, he said, "You're declared unfit for duty. Go take a nap or something," he commented, walking out of the bridge, wanting to get as far away from the insanity as he possibly could.

"That wasn't very nice, Auntie," Alex sulked.

"Don't take it personally," Kirk said, ruffling Alex's hair. "You've learned a very important lesson about commanding a starship: you can't treat your crew like servants. They keep your ship running properly, but they're trusting you with their lives, every moment they're on the ship. If there's an emergency, they'll be depending on you to get them out of danger. It's like a family. A big, huge 400-person family."

"Does that make you the daddy?" Adam asked, turning from his place at the communication station.

"Yeah, I suppose it does," Kirk said, with a self-satisfied grin.

"Then, who is the mommy?" Thomas and Richard asked, looking up from the game they were playing.

"Well, I suppose the second-in-command would be the mommy, guys," Kirk answered. I'm not entirely sure he was aware of the repercussions of his statement.

"Mr. Spock is the mommy?" Calvin asked, looking confused, as he sat on the lap of Security Officer Karen Thompson

"But, he's a boy. He can't be a mommy," Aaron chimed in, wanting to be involved in whatever happened to be going on. Communications Officer Westley Neighbour had done a good job keeping him quiet up until then.

"Boy. Not mommy," James pouted, holding onto Communications Officer Lucy Vesta, a close personal friend of Lieutenant Sulu.

"Well, he is pretty good with babies," Kirk teased.

"Cease this illogical dialogue, Captain. I am not female, and therefore am incapable of being a mother. While I understand the metaphor you are trying to employ, it is illogical, and is confusing the younger children."

Kirk put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Yes, mother."

Everyone but Spock and Uhura laughed after that remark. I actually caught a glimpse of his eyebrow twitching in anger.

"Um, would you like me to hold Chris, sir?" Eric asked, changing the subject, and endearing himself forever to the half-Vulcan. The kid had a knack for diffusing a tense situation. He might make a good diplomat someday.

"No, I am in control of the situation, Eric. You may play with your cousins or brothers, if you wish," Spock said, talking to the eight year-old as though he were a crewman. Actually, he treated Eric better than he did me!

Whenever Uhura winds up getting knocked up, she wouldn't have to worry about how Spock would behave with their children. His words may sound distant and emotionless, but there was something in his eyes that said differently.

"Aunt Lene, is it alright if I go play with the twins?" He asked, looking down at the floor.

"Knock yourself out kid," I smiled at him. If my kids could be as adorable as Chekov and as well-mannered as Eric, I would be the happiest mother in the universe. Adorable and well-behaved, ahh, a mother's dream.

Spock almost sounded concerned. "Lieutenant, it is highly illogical to suggest to a child that he render himself unconscious. Perhaps your brothers should have placed their trust in a more suitable child care provider."

I let that insult of my maternal capabilities slide because I knew he only said it because he took my words literally. "Commander, it is a Terran expression that means 'please begin doing it'."

"Ah. I believe I understand now," he responded.

I noticed Chris bouncing up and down slightly. Oh my god! Spock was bouncing a baby on his knee! Someone alert the Federation News Network. This was a historical moment that had to be preserved for posterity.

Surreptitiously, I pulled a holo-recorder out of my pocket.

Yes, I keep a holo-recorder in my pocket. Don't you? You never know when you might need to record something. And, see, I was right. If I hadn't had it with me, I wouldn't be able to show you this recording of it.

I know! Wasn't that cute? If you look carefully, you can see the corners of his mouth pulling up a little. Remind me to make a duplicate of this and give it to Uhura for her birthday.

Sulu and Chekov were blatantly disregarding their places so that they could play with the twins as well. This didn't escape Eric's notice. "Don't you two need to be flying the ship?" he asked, confused that no one else on the bridge seemed to mind that no one was flying the starship.

"It's no problem. We've already got a course laid in, and she's on auto-pilot. There's nothing to worry about, little man," Sulu assured him. He wasn't that bad with children either.

What had seemed like hell was actually turning out to be pretty fun.

Then, everyone younger than the twins started crying.

Kirk started at the noise. "Red Alert! Red Alert! Misarte, secure the children! Spock, raise our shields! Uhura, send out a distress signal! Scotty, redirect all available power to our phaser banks! Chekov-"

"Sir!" I shouted, managing to get him to shut up. "They're tired. It's time for their nap. That's all."

"Oh, well, locate the necessary equipment and prep these children for naptime," Kirk ordered, pretending that he hadn't completely and totally over-reacted to the crying of children.

"Yes, Captain," those of us with the smaller children replied.

A yeoman brought in four sets of naptime equipment: pillows, blankets, and mats for Orlando's oldest four children, who were soon fast asleep.

I wanted to fashion an extra blanket into a sling for Zach, so that I could continue working while still making sure that he was safe and comfortable, but my hands were full.

Just as I was about to ask Commander Spock, the person closest to me, to hold Zach for me, someone took the sleepy infant from me. "I'll hold him for you," Sulu said.


	7. Adventures in Babysitting: Part IV

"_I'll hold him for you," Sulu said._

"You don't have to do that," I said, doing my best to sound upset, and not all flustered about how he looked holding that newborn.

"It's alright. Your hands are full. Just let me help you," he insisted.

Have I mentioned how much I love it when he does that? As much as I try to push him away, he just doesn't give up. Although this is the exact opposite of what I want him to do, I can't help but be happy about it.

And, he looked so _perfect_ holding Zack. He was smiling down at him, humming a soft lullaby. If I hadn't known any better, I would have sworn that it was his own son he was holding, instead of my nephew.

"I didn't know you had such a way with babies," I commented, forcing myself to sound cold, knowing that my voice would crack if I were to try and speak with my normal voice.

"I could say the same for you and Commander Spock," he replied with a grin. "Run this by me again. How many brothers do you have?"

"Five," I responded, concentrating on fashioning a sling out of the blanket laying in my lap.

"So, do they each have two kids?" he asked, taking a seat on my other side.

"No, only my three eldest brothers have kids." I had to keep looking down. If I were to look up, who knew what I would see next and what it would make me feel.

"Ten kids for three brothers?" he commented. "Damn."

"That's not the worst of it," I laughed. "Five of them belong to the same brother, whose wife is pregnant, again."

"Wow. They're pretty lucky to have a sister who is willing to take care of all ten at once."

"That's what I keep trying to remind them of. But, they don't listen to me."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable. The conversation was coming too naturally. It was too easy to talk to him. Something had to be done. And, soon.

"How many kids do you want, Misarte?" he asked, as I put the sling around my neck.

"Well, since I came from such a big family myself, I've always wanted a lot of children, too. More than five, but definitely less than ten," I answered, gently taking the now sound-asleep Zach from him, and placing the sleeping infant tenderly into the sling.

Sulu laughed a little. "Then are you really in any position to criticize the brother of yours who already has five?"

Ah, there was that something that would get me out of this conversation. "I see no reason for me to stay here and be insulted, Lieutenant," I commented icily, turning back to the sensors.

Logic Boy's left eyebrow raised. I didn't need to see it to know it happened. Whenever someone said something similar to what he would say, that damn eyebrow of his would always go up. I was no telepath, but I knew Spock was thinking, "_Fascinating._"

"That's not what I meant. Let me-" he began, hoping to regain some control of the situation.

"It would be wise for you to return to your station, Lieutenant Sulu, and to stop harassing my aide, who clearly does not want your attentions," Spockula interrupted.

I couldn't believe it. He was standing up for me, to Sulu. And I thought I had seen the impossible back when he was bouncing Chris on his knee. Spocktacular was full of all sorts of surprises. Still, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd need the Emotionless Wonder's help in getting Sulu to leave me alone.

"Yes, sir," Sulu replied, wisely volunteering to get back to the helm before Spock made his request a direct order.

"Thank you, sir," I said, handing him a printout of some readings I had just received.

"Your gratitude is unnecessary. Logical, but unnecessary," he replied.

Roughly translated from Spock to Federation Standard, that statement was the equivalent of "no problem" or "don't mention it". Then again, I'm not the specialist in xenolinguistics. If you want a proper translation, go to Uhura. She knows that green-blooded hobgoblin better than he knows himself.

"Yeoman Rand, can you please get me a chocolate milkshake?" Alex requested, actually sounding polite.

Rand looked to Kirk for direction, who in turn looked to me for permission. _A small one_, I mouthed to the captain, who nodded an affirmative at the yeoman.

"Right away, sir," she said, smiling warmly at the little boy.

"See what happens when you treat your crew with respect?" Kirk asked.

"They're a lot nicer and get their jobs done a lot faster," Alex reported dutifully.

"We may just make a captain out of you, yet," Kirk said approvingly. "Did you learn anything else today?"

"Don't make that doctor mad. He's scary," he replied with a shudder.

"Bones isn't that bad. He just isn't that good with kids," Jim said, pausing for a moment, "or teenagers, or adults for that matter. Okay, Bones is that bad, but he's still my friend and a really good doctor. He grows on you after a while," he assured Alex.

"Like Tom and Ricky?" Alex asked, looking over to the floor where his brothers and Eric were playing quietly behind the helm.

"Sure. Why not. Hey, Alex. Do you want to play a prank on your dad? If that's alright with you Lieutenant Misarte," he asked me, acknowledging that he had no authority over the kids.

"Go ahead, Captain. Patrick deserves it," I grinned.

"Where can I comm them at, Misarte?" he asked, thrilled to be able to put his devious plan into action.

I gave him the correct address. While he was having Uhura prepare to open communications, he and I set about arranging everything in the best manner to freak out my brother. Sulu and Chekov were hidden out of sight, along with Kirk, Spock, Uhura, myself and the rest of the children who weren't apart of our plot.

When the communications were opened, everyone could see Patrick, but he could only see what we wanted him to see.

Alex was sitting in the captain's chair. "Hi, Dad," he said, beaming.

"Alex, what are you doing there?" he asked, bewildered. "And, is that?..._Are your little brothers steering the ship?_"

"Is there a problem with that, Daddy?" He asked, looking like the picture of innocence.

"Where is the captain of that ship? Where is your aunt?" Patrick asked, starting to look increasingly panicked.

With excellent timing, Yeoman Rand re-entered the bridge. "Here is your milkshake, sir," she said, handing him said frozen dairy beverage.

"_Sir?_ _What have you done to that ship?!_" Patrick shouted.

"We made some changes, Daddy," Alex explained, ad-libbing brilliantly.

"What have you done to the captain and the first officer?" he asked, trying not to have a heart attack.

"I _am_ the captain, Daddy. And Eric is my first officer. Don't worry. The old crew is safe. They're just not here."

"Alexander Ignatio Misarte, you tell me what you have done to that ship's crew this instant, or you'll be grounded for the rest of your life – literally," Patrick threatened. "I knew it was a bad idea to leave all of you with her. Now, you've gone and mutinied. And where are your other cousins? Wait, where are you taking that ship, Thomas?" he asked, as the boy turned the helm uselessly.

"I dunno," the boy replied.

"Richard, where is the ship going?"

"Daddy, I'm only five. Do you really expect me to be able to tell you?"

That was too much for the rest of us, except You-know-who…What? No, not Voldemort, you idiot…to take. We started laughing. Knowing that we had given away our presence we came out of hiding.

Kirk was the first. "Alright, Alex, the jig is up. Now, get out of my chair." Smirking gleefully, he obeyed. "Relax, sir," he said, addressing Patrick. "This is Captain James T, Kirk of the _USS Enterprise_-"

Patrick scoffed. "They trade one kid out for another. Quit messing around, kid, and get the real captain." Naturally, this didn't go over well with Captain Kirk, whose expression darkened perceptibly. He hated it when people assumed he wasn't the captain just because of his age.

Now, I had to reveal my presence so that Patrick would believe me. With Zach still hanging from the sling around my neck, I emerged from my hiding spot. "Chill out. It was all a prank. The kids are not controlling the ship. The real crew is safe and sound, just like the other kids. And, Captain Kirk _is _the captain. We just decided to give you a little payback. And it worked."

He looked like he wanted to use several expletives, but, noting the presence of the other children, he refrained. "I am so going to get you back for this," he promised before ending the communication.

"Your brother seemed remarkably displeased. Are you sure there will be no negative repercussions for your actions, Lieutenant?" Spock asked. "It would be unfortunate if the children were to be punished for what seemed like a light-hearted attempt at trying to entertain them.

It was so cute when Spock got worried about the kids. But, nowhere near as cute as it was when Hikaru did.

"Don't worry, Commander. Nothing will happen to the kids. My brothers are probably conferring now about a suitable plan for revenge. I am expecting something to happen after the children have been returned home."

"Worry is an illogical emotion, Lieutenant."

I always knew he cared more about them than he did me. It was no fair. I had been his assistant for a long time by now, and he could care less. But, the kids, who he had known for less than a day, were precious little treasures that had to be protected at all costs.

Don't get me wrong. They are, but it'd be nice if he cared about his _personal freaking assistant_ a little more. Pointy-eared bastard.

The rest of the day passed without incident. The younger kids woke up from their naps, having missed all of the fun, but, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, nonetheless.

The trouble I had been preparing for all day finally came when it was time for dinner.

Everyone had taken their charges to the mess hall, and helped them to operate the food replicator.

Eric, Alex, Adam, and the twins got their food with no problems. They were all eating peacefully when James decided to lob some of his mashed potatoes at Alex's head. He swiftly retaliated with a spoonful of corn. When Calvin tried to intervene, Aaron tossed some broccoli at him. Chris and Zach started crying and smacking away the food I was trying to give them. It was hell. Suddenly, I had a burst of sympathy for Orlando. This was what it was like for him every night at dinner.

Just then, Captain Kirk gave a loud whistle, and everything fell silent.

"Misarte, get them cleaned up and get them to bed, now," he said, seriously.

I could only think one thing. _Oh shit._

"Yes, Captain," I said, gathering all of the kids and ushering them out of the mess hall.

"I shall escort you to my quarters," McLogic stated. It wasn't an order, but it wasn't up for debate either.


	8. Adventures in Babysitting: Final Part

**Disclaimer: I haven't had one of these up in a while, so I figured now would be the time to put one in. Star Trek is not mine. Zachary Quinto is. He just doesn't know it yet.**

**A/N: Three updates in one day, that has to be a personal record. Well, consider it my gift to all of you loyal readers of mine. I'm going back to school tomorrow, and I have no idea if I'll be able to update at all before Friday. So, sorry in advance.**

**Special thanks: Rita Arabella Black and Changgirl for being such loyal reviewers and commenting on all my chapters.**

**Superspecialawesome Thanks to RAB for helping out with Christine's part in this chapter. Isn't it great how we keep popping up in each other's stories? :)**

**Back to the story…

* * *

**Commander Spock escorted all eleven of us to his quarters, where bedding had already been prepared for everyone. He even managed to locate two bassinets for Chris and Zach to sleep in. I think Ol' Greeny is going soft.

He wished us a pleasant rest, and then departed to his new, undisclosed sleeping location. -cough- UHURA! -cough-

His room was too spacious for my tastes. Well, it least it was before I jammed it full of kids. Anyway, it was very wide, with a high ceiling. There were no decorations, except for the bed, so the kids wouldn't be able to get into anything and hurt themselves. Now I knew why he had suggested that we use his room. It was perfect.

As I got everyone cleaned off from their little food fight, I wondered what punishment would await me tomorrow. After all, the kids were my responsibility. So, anything they did wrong was my fault. Kirk was going to have my skin. And not in the way women wanted him to, either. I would be lucky if I didn't get reduced in rank. Hell, I'd be lucky if I was even in Starfleet the next morning.

Brooding didn't do anyone any good. So, after everyone was all cleaned off and ready for bed, it was time to decide who would sleep where.

My brothers may be a lot of things, but at least they raised their boys to be gentleman. I offered the surprisingly large bed to Eric, Alex, Adam, Thomas, and Richard (the others were too small, and would have gotten hurt if they happened to roll out of bed in their sleep). But, all of them refused, saying they couldn't make a girl sleep on the floor. Surprising behavior from someone who had threatened to have me charged with mutiny just a few hours prior.

I tried to talk some sense into the boys, but they wouldn't hear it. But, stubbornness is a trait that runs in our family, so I refused to sleep in the bed too. I pulled the bedding off, and did my best to arrange it comfortably on the floor.

Really. I am not kidding. Commander Spock's room really is that big. There was room for at least five more kids on that floor, even with all nine of us spread out comfortably. You should see it some time.

What? How the hell do you expect me to be able to get you into Spock's room. Why don't you disguise yourself as Uhura, or something. Now, will you please shut up and let me get on with my story. Thank you.

The next morning, I woke up to a cacophony of coughing and sneezing. Somehow, in between Zachary's last feeding, and morning, everyone had managed to get sick. Just lovely.

Luckily, I had connections in Medical. Christine came down as quickly as possible to assess the situation. Her professional opinion was that we move all of them to Sickbay. And, who was I to argue with her?

_Christine Chapel's POV_

Okay, if I didn't love Selene like the sister I never had, I would wring her little neck for bringing 10 kids aboard the Enterprise. Starfleet was cool about it and even First Officer Spock joined in Operation Baby Sat. I'll admit they were cute, and not terribly spoiled, considering. But, when the little crumb crunchers started to snot all over everything, I knew the fun times were over.

Space flu was not uncommon for new arrivals on board a star ship. It's kind of like when you move to a new place and your body has to adapt to the new surroundings and get used to the germs. Luckily, this strain was easily treatable but still the little ankle biters would be snotting and hacking for a couple of days. I suggested that we place them in sick bay on the off chance they were contagious.

The first of the rug rats, the four toddlers were the sickest and they were snotting and running a temperature. They looked so cute, until they threw up all over me. Fortunately, the new born Zach didn't get sick, but we kept him anyway in isolation.

The twins, George and Fred puked more than I thought was humanly possible and heaved when there was nothing left. The oldest boys' major complaint was headache and fever. They stayed quiet but were really sweet how they helped with the other kids.

The chief medical officer, and my boss, Dr. McCoy took one look at the menagerie shook his head and muttered something totally obscene under his breath. I heard something like, "Dammit this is sickbay not a pediatric ward, and I'm not freakin Patch Adams for God's sake. Christine!! Take care of the little..."

"Dr. McCoy," I scolded.

We kept them overnight and by the next day, they were well enough to send back to their respective baby sitters.

_Selene's POV_

I was infinitely grateful for Christine and Dr. McCoy's help, no matter how grudging it was. I had been so worried about the little brats, especially when Thomas and Richard threw up all over Christine. I know she must be used to it, being a nurse and all, but that doesn't mean she enjoys it.

Thank god, Zachary somehow managed to avoid catching space flu. I had been terrified enough when they confirmed that Chris had it. But, Zach was so tiny, and his immune system was the most delicate…

Sorry for getting choked up like that, but, I love those little monsters, and it was just so terrifying seeing them that sick and vulnerable.

Christine informed me that they would be keeping them overnight, and that there was nothing else I could do, but go back and get some rest.

When I returned to Mister Spock's quarters, I found I was not alone. Everyone on the babysitting crew was there too. Kirk or Spock must have granted them all access.

"What are you all doing here?" I asked, completely lost.

"These _are_ my quarters," Spock commented sardonically.

"I know that. What I meant was-"

"I am well aware of what you meant, Lieutenant." Green-blooded bastard. "We noted the absence of our charges today, and were informed by Dr. McCoy that they have contracted space flu."

It did not go unnoticed that he stopped speaking before he actually voiced concern for their well-being. Kirk continued.

"We miss the little brats, but Bones won't let us visit them. So, we decided to come down here and keep you company instead."

"So, I'm Plan B, huh?" I asked, feigning insult.

"No," he quickly backtracked. "We know how hard this must be for you and we didn't want you to go through it alone."

"I know, Captain," I said, smiling gently. "And, thank you."

It only made things worse. Sure, I pretended to smile and enjoy the conversations. But, I couldn't get my mind off of the kids. They were alone in the Sickbay, with just each other to depend on. Of course, Christine and McCoy were medical professionals. But, they weren't me.

They wouldn't hold Aaron's hand and whisper that everything was going to be okay, and that they would be better soon. They wouldn't rock Chris to sleep, stroking his back to help get him to sleep faster, just like Michelle had shown me how to do. They didn't know Calvin's favorite lullaby. They just didn't know the boys like I did.

I should have been there, with them, instead of pretending to enjoy myself.

As the night wore on, everyone began to leave. The last person to go was Hikaru.

He was about to walk out, but, then he stopped, and sat on the bed(which had been remade during the day) instead.

"That is very presumptuous of you," I said, folding my arms across my chest and glaring at him with all of my might.

"Can it, won't you?" he suggested, his tone more serious than I had ever heard it before. I had no response. He patted the place on the bed next to him. "Sit down."

Still confused by this uncharacteristic behavior of his, I complied. When he put his arm around me, I panicked. "Now isn't the time!" I admonished, trying to push him away.

He was stronger than he looked. I couldn't get away. Instead, he pulled me close, and whispered. "Now is the perfect time," he argued. "You don't have to pretend anymore. Let it out."

"W-w-what are you talking about?" I stammered.

"I know how worried you are about your nephews. I saw it earlier. It looked like you were smiling, but I knew better. Your eyes looked sad. I can still see how much you want to be with them right now. Let it out," he encouraged.

"I'm not some crybaby," I replied, still fruitlessly trying to escape.

"I never said you were. But, you are human. If you need to cry, cry. I hate it when you turn into Commander Spock on me," he confessed. "Just when you start to show me some genuine emotions, you turn Vulcan and I can't tell what you're feeling anymore. But, I know what you're feeling now. So, cry dammit! Get it out of your system before it poisons you!"

The stupid jerk had taken advantage of the weakened status of my emotional barriers. I crumbled.

I clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping me from being sucked into the vacuum of space, and I cried. I cried for the first time in almost ten years, and it felt great. Not the crying. The crying sucked. I was crying so hard I was shaking. It was hard to breathe, and I was fairly sure that my nose would begin running momentarily. But, the emotional release was exquisite.

He rubbed my back soothingly the whole time, murmuring something to me in Japanese that I couldn't hear over the sound of my own sobs.

When my crying began to slow, I was able to regain my breath and talk to him.

"It's my fault they're in there. If I had just kept a closer eye on them last night, they wouldn't be sick. If I hadn't had the temperature regulator set so low, they wouldn't have gotten those respiratory problems. It's all my fault. Their parents should never have trusted me with them. Look what I've done to those kids. It's my fault. I should be there in Medical instead of them. Eric should be out here following Spock like a puppy. Alex should be helping Kirk harass the crew. Adam should be learning all sorts of new words from Uhura. And the twins should be begging you and Chekov to teach them how to fly a starship. But, they're not. They're in Medical because I was unobservant, foolish, stupid enough to let them get sick. It's my-"

"Don't you dare say it's your fault one more time. Or, so help me, I'll-"

"But, it is," I persisted. Why couldn't he see that?

"Shut up!" he shouted, right before his lips crashed against my own.

Well, that certainly did the job. I was indeed silenced.

After a few moments, the pressure began to soften, and I knew he was pulling away. Now that we were finally here, I wouldn't let him escape me just yet.

My hands snaked into his hair, pulling him back towards me. We clutching each other so tightly, his heartbeat felt like one of those antique jackhammers against my rib cage. Actually, it was getting hard to tell which heartbeat was his, and which one was my own.

This was all wrong. This was illogical. This would just wind up hurting us both.

But, at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I can't recall when it happened, but one minute, the two of us were sitting upright, and the next thing I can remember, we were laying down. One of his hands slipped from my back to half-way up my thigh, where the hem of my regulation uniform rested. He paused, but I put my hand on top of his, and encouraged him to go on.

No, I'm not going to keep going! What kind of girl do you think I am? Use your imagination you pervert.

The next morning, I slipped out of bed and dressed myself before he woke up. Not caring who saw me or who I ran into, I barreled my way to Sickbay.

"Dammit, this is a hospital, not a race track!" McCoy reprimanded me.

I didn't care. "Are they okay? Can I see them now? Doctor?!"

Luckily, they all pulled through just fine and were as good as new.

The rest of their stay passed without further incident. But, when their parents came to pick them up, that was particularly entertaining.


	9. Bye to the Brats for now

**A/N: The Kid Story finally comes to a close. I'm going to miss those little brats, even though I'm the only one who could probably get all of their names straight. Oh, and since no one had guessed it, I'm going to have to give the answer away.**

**The first letter of her brothers' names spell out the name of my favorite Star Trek character: ****S****ean, ****P****atrick, ****O****rlando, ****C****edric, and ****K****evin. S-P-O-C-K. Spock.**

* * *

As my brothers and their wives stepped off of the transporters, there was a shout of glee from the children.

"Daddy!" "Mommy!" "I missed you!" "Can we stay longer?" and, my personal favorite, "Auntie fun."

However, it was quite difficult to understand them when they all spoke at once.

"So, I heard from Uncle Patrick that you got to be First Officer for a while," Ariel, Sean's wife, said, resting her hand on Eric's head. "How was it?"

"It was fun," he replied in his usual quiet manner.

Sean was the first of my brothers to reach me. He gathered me into his arms in a bone-crushing bear hug and twirled me around in a circle once or twice. I was used to this, having grown up with it. The crew was not.

"I must ask that you refrain from handling the lieutenant in that manner," the Jolly Green Jerk ordered, probably worried that centrifugal force would cause me to hit Uhura or one of the children if Sean suddenly lost his grip.

"Chill out, Frosty. Is it so wrong for me to be affectionate with my sister?" The Commander had no response. Well, he probably did, but was tactful enough not to voice it. Sean turned back to me. "Hey, Selene. I heard from Patrick about that prank you all pulled on him. It was brilliant! He really thought that the kids had you and the rest of the bridge all tied up somewhere as hostages. You should have seen the look on his face. It was priceless! Oh, he was so pissed off. He looked like he was about to-"

"Don't tell her that," Patrick demanded, smacking Sean upside the head.

Jasmine, Patrick's wife, pulled on his hair to gain his attention. "Don't be so violent in front of the kids," she scolded him.

Meanwhile, Orlando's kids had swarmed around him and Michelle. Spock handed Chris to him, while I gave Zach to Michelle. "How were they?" he asked.

"Well, a few days ago, everyone but Zach came down with space flu." The stunned parents turned to me, shocked and horrified. "They got better."

"Can we stay for dinner, Mom?" Alex asked, pulling on the hem of Jasmine's shirt.

"It's alright with me, if it's alright with the captain," she replied.

Alex ran over to Kirk. "Can we stay for dinner, Uncle Jim?"

"Uncle?!" My brothers and their wives turned to me in shock, clearly under the impression that I had married without telling them.

Kirk, going along with the joke, dropped to one knee and took my hand. "Let's make it official. What do you say, Lieutenant?"

"I say 'no', Captain."

Those capable of doing so, laughed.

He feigned heartbreak. "Rejected again. First Uhura, and now you. I must be losing my touch." He turned. A small hand was tugging at the bottom of his gold shirt. "Yes, what is it, Alex?"

"Can we stay for dinner? You never answered."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot you had asked. Yeah, everyone can stay for dinner, as long as there are no more food fights."

"So, you're just going to stand here and not introduce us to the people who have been watching our children for the last week, eh, sis?" Patrick asked, still pissed at me and Kirk.

"Knock it off," Jasmine warned, pinching his arm.

"Introductions can wait until dinner," Kirk smirked, the mutual dislike between him and Patrick evident to all those perceptive enough to notice it. "Everyone is invited to join me at the Captain's table: parents, kids, and babysitters," he said, leading the way to the mess hall.

Patrick mumbled something under his breath, displeased to be at the mercy of Kirk's hospitality.

"Mind saying that loud enough for the rest of the class to hear?" the captain asked in a most Spock-like tone.

"I didn't say anything," he denied.

"Spock?"

" 'Can't believe some little punk like him is captain. The whole damn crew looks way too damn young to do their jobs. That kid over there doesn't look any older than twelve,' Captain," Spock replied, repeating Patrick's words verbatim.

The group came to a screeching halt.

"I am seventeen!" Chekov shouted, outraged.

"Captain, I shall escort everyone to the mess hall," Spock volunteered.

Sometimes, I swear that guy can read minds. Oh, wait. He can. Anyway…

I was about to follow them, but the captain requested that I stay. He probably wanted a witness from both the crew and the family present to verify that he wasn't mistreating Patrick.

"Commander, I have had just about as much of your insults towards myself and my crew that I can stand. Out of the goodness of our hearts, we have volunteered to watch a group of children that, word has it, were dumped at the last minute upon our Lieutenant. These insults spit in the face of the generosity and hospitality we have shown your family. Any further negative comments on your part will result in immediate and permanent disallowance of any future access to this ship," he said, using his "captain voice."

"Does that go for the kids, too?" I asked, afraid that Patrick's big mouth meant that my nephews would no longer be welcome aboard the _Enterprise_.

"Of course not, Lieutenant. Just him. I will not have anyone undermining my authority, regardless of whether they are a member of my crew or not," he said, directing his words at Patrick. "I believe we have kept the rest of our party waiting long enough. Allow me, Lieutenant," he said, offering me his arm.

The situation was already bad enough. I wasn't about to make it worse by refusing him. "Of course, Captain," I replied, resting my arm on his.

We entered the mess hall. At the Captain's Table, all was silent – except for Orlando's kids, of course – and the food remained untouched. It seems that no one had spoken a word since the three of us had been left behind. Hikaru's eyes drifted from the captain, to me, and finally, to our linked arms. His eyes darkened before he looked away. It was just what I needed right now: for him to be jealous.

Kirk guided me to the seat at his left. The one to his right had already been occupied by Spock. "Did you start the introductions yet?" he asked his second-in-command.

"No, Captain. Logic dictates that it would have been inappropriate to begin without you."

"Thanks, Spock." He stood. "Alright, as most of you already know, I am Captain James T. Kirk. For the past week, it has been our pleasure to have Lieutenant Misarte's nephews aboard this ship. Although there were one or two unfortunate instances, perhaps a food fight or an outbreak of space flu, I speak for the entire ship – except for Medical, maybe – when I say we would be delighted to have them aboard again in the future. Just not all at the same time. To the kids," he said, raising his glass of Romulan Ale in a toast that was echoed on all sides. "Now, if you'll indulge me, I would like to formally introduce the crew members that have been helping our dear Lieutenant take care of your children. Spock, stand up."

Spock obliged uncomfortably.

"This is our First Officer, Commander Spock. He not only helped Misarte with Eric and Chris, he also lent her his private quarters so that they would have some place to stay as a family."

There was polite applause.

"Captain, may I sit down now?" he asked, his ears turning slightly green.

"Wait!" I shouted, standing up.

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

"Not at all, Commander. Captain, permission to show a holo I recorded earlier in the week?"

Spock and Hikaru looked terrified. Well, Hikaru did anyway. Dirty-minded pervert. Did he really think I would record something like that and then proceed to show it off? Spock, however, had good reason to be scared.

I pulled the holo out of my pocket and played it for the group. The parents and crew looked shocked. None of them had ever seen a Vulcan bouncing a baby on his knee before.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he said a bit sharply. "I had no idea you had seen that."

Translation: I was in deep shit. If I didn't want to spend the rest of my career cleaning equipment, I was going to have to think quickly.

"Uhura, catch!" I shouted, tossing her the holo. She had looked a bit misty-eyed at the sight of her love-slave bouncing a baby on his knee, so I figured she would appreciate having a copy for herself. Plus, since she seemed to enjoy it so much, Captain Lost-his-Planet wouldn't punish me for giving such a treasured gift to her.

"Moving on…Yours truly was responsible for Alex."

"Yeah, Uncle Jim taught me how to be a good captain," Alex said proudly.

"Oh, you were a bad captain before?" Jasmine asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah," Kirk nodded.

"What did he do?" Sean asked.

"He tried to have Spock and Misarte thrown in the brig for mutiny," he explained.

My brothers and sisters roared with laughter.

"How did you avoid lock-up?" Ariel asked, grinning with mirth.

"I had a friend in Medical get the CMO to declare him unfit for duty," I replied, mirroring her grin as I took a sip of my ale.

"And taking care of the ever-vociferous Adam was our Chief Communications Officer, Lieutenant Uhura."

"Not a communications officer," Sean wailed. "Now, he'll never shut up."

"You didn't separate the twins did you?" Jasmine asked, looking concerned.

"No. Misarte warned us of the consequences. Our exceptional helmsman, Hikaru Sulu, and our unsurpassed navigator, Pavel Chekov, assumed responsibility for the twins."

"Oy. What about my brats?" Orlando asked.

"Hold your horses, you ingrate," I replied.

"Security Officer Karen Thompson watched Calvin, Communications Officer Westley Neighbour took care of Aaron, and Communications Officer Lucy Vesta kept an eye on little James," Kirk said, concluding the introductions.

Dinner was pleasant, since Patrick finally kept his mouth shut.

The tears came in the transporter room, where there were promises on both sides that the children would return soon.

"Remember, it would be our pleasure to have them back again soon. But, only one or two at a time. I don't think the ship could take another week of all ten of them here at once," Kirk said, before my family disappeared.

Whew, I told you that was going to be a long one. Urgh, I think I have a headache brought on by sleep deprivation. Thanks. Now, get out of my room. No, no. I won't forget. Next time, I'll tell you about that nude beach we accidentally went to.


	10. The Beach Adventure Begins

**A/N: Here you all go. This is my longest chapter yet. I hope you're happy, Changgirl.**

* * *

Hey. You missed a great game of Phaser Tag yesterday. And, I have great news: Hikaru and I are an official couple, now! I'm so happy for me. When are we going to find you someone nice? Huh? Fine, I'll get to the damn story.

It was time for our first official shore leave. Kirk, having gone mad with power, decided that the bridge crew had to spend it together, to promote teamwork and understanding, or some other bullshit like that. Since he was Captain, and another crew member thought the idea sounded "logical", the rest of us had no choice in the matter.

Deciding where to go proved to be a challenge as well.

Kirk made the mistake of allowing us to make suggestions. Count Spockula wanted to go to the Museum of Vulcan Culture and History in Sydney, Australia. Kirk wanted to go to Las Vegas(no surprises there). Uhura thought it would be fun to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Pavel-poo longed for us to see the beauty and perfection of St. Petersburg. Meanwhile, Hikaru wanted us to visit his ancestral homeland of Japan(and the hot springs of Hakone, in particular). However, I thought it would be a good idea for my crewmates to see the lavender fields of France. And, Dr. McCoy, who was invited along because he's the captain's bff, thought we should go to Nashville and eat some real food for a change.

We all spent the next half an hour debating where to go. Communications Officer Vesta, in all of her infinite wisdom, proposed that we go to Hawaii.

One could practically see Uhura's mind floating down the gutter as she pictured McLogic in his swimsuit. I admit, I was pretty curious, too. But, after all of the time they had been together, she still didn't know what he looked like naked? For shame, Uhura. For shame.

"Good idea, Lucy," Hikaru said, flashing her a smile.

I was pissed. Do you remember what Legolas did to Kirk when he was emotionally compromised? Well, that was what I felt like doing to Hikaru and his beloved Lucy.

Was that really it between us? Had he just been trying to get into my pants the whole time? Now that he had, was I disposable?

I knew I should never had let my guard down. It served me right for thinking that he was different. As I watched the two of them smiling at each other, I resolved not to let it get to me.

Oh, who am I kidding? I came up with a plan for revenge: I was going to make him jealous. Unfortunately, I didn't have a wide selection of potential accomplices. The only other guys going on the trip were Kirk, his pointy-eared bitch, McCoy, Chekov, and Communications Officer Neighbour. Even out of that list, I only had one viable option. Spocktacular was with Uhura, and Neighbour was married. Christine liked McCoy, and Chekov was much too young for me.

It was eventually decided that we would be going to Hawaii. Everyone had broken into little groups and were chatting amiably. I waited until Sulu and his little skank Lucy were listening before I asked, "Captain, there's something I need to talk to you about privately. Would you mind meeting me in my quarters?"

One very logical eyebrow went up, and Hikaru was glaring at Kirk. Ha! It was working already! I could still feel his eyes on us as we left the room. That would teach him to go up against a woman in a battle of emotions.

I sat on the bed, but Kirk remained standing. "What's this all about, Misarte?" he asked.

I folded my hands in my lap and stared at them with all of my might. "I need your help, Captain," I confessed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. He sat on the bed, putting his arm around my shoulders. The gesture was purely platonic, and was meant only as a display of comfort and understanding.

"Sulu ditched me for that slut, Lucy. I want to make him jealous, and you're the only person I could turn to," I explained.

"I'm flattered, Lieutenant was it my good looks, my wit, my charm, or my undeniable badassery?" he asked with a grin.

"No. You were the only single guy," I teased while maintaining a straight face.

"Hold on a minute! When did McCoy and Chekov get girlfriends?" he asked, insulted.

"They didn't. But, I don't think either of them would be able to help me like you could, Captain."

"Thanks, Misarte. I'll do it," he said, ruffling my hair.

"Captain!" I shrieked, mussing his hair in return.

"C'mon. You're going to have to get used to calling me 'Jim'," he instructed, his fingers drifting to my ribcage.

"No, Jim! Not there," I gasped as he began tickling me.

"Sorry. Didn't quite catch that," he laughed over the sound of my giggles and gasps, not noticing my hands making their sneak attack. His laughter grew louder as I tickled him back. "Selene, you naughty girl. You must be punished," he said, removing our hands from each other. He started making the silliest faces I had ever seen.

"Oh, Jim," is sighed, my sides in pain from all the laughing I had been doing. "Stop it. You're hurting me."

"My apologies," he said, his tone still jovial. "I'll let you get some rest. I can't have you getting worn out before our vacation has even begun."

"Bye, Jim," I replied, beaming, as I showed him out.

As the door whooshed open, we were met by someone we didn't expect. It was Hikaru.

For a moment, all three of our faces reflected the same degree of shock. But, all too soon, his contorted into a mask of fury.

I appraised Jim and myself. Our hair and clothing were all disheveled. That, in addition to the suggestive dialogue we had just shared, would have lead anyone to believe that there had been less-than-innocent things going on behind that door. With a victorious smirk, I asked, "Is there something we can help you with?"

"No. Not at all," he hissed from behind clenched teeth.

"Then I suggest you move along, Mister Sulu," Kirk commanded, drooping his arm possessively around my shoulders.

"Yes, sir," he mumbled, shuffling away.

"See you tomorrow, Jim," I shouted as Kirk left in the opposite direction.

"Don't forget to wear that bikini I like," he reminded me, even though the both of us knew that he had never seen me in anything other than my uniform.

But, I had the perfect swimsuit in mind.

The next morning, we had all assembled, luggage in tow, at the shuttle that would be taking us to Hawaii. The Emotionless Wonder felt it would be logical to determine sleeping arrangements before we left. Since our adventure had been planned at the last minute, there were only four rooms available for the nine of us.

Uhura was the first to declare that she and Spock would be sharing one of those rooms. Next, McCoy, Chekov, and Neighbour elected to share one. I can only assume that everyone but Jim and I expected me to bunk with Vesta, the only remaining girl, because they went into shock when Kirk announced, "Selene will be sleeping with me."

Uhura shook her head pityingly at me, while Spock just stared. I really think that those two honestly thought I was shagging Kirk.

"So, I guess that just leaves you and your lovely Lucy," Kirk said, with just a hint of a sneer.

She was about to protest when Sulu lay a silencing hand on her shoulder. "That's fine with us," he said.

"But, Hikaru," she said, turning to him, confused.

Who gave that bitch permission to use his first name?!

Breathe, Selene. Breathe. You're getting a little too involved in the story. Where was I?

"I said it's fine, Lucy," he told her, giving me one last look of disgust before we all boarded the shuttle.

Being the captain, Kirk was allowed on first, and got the best seats. I got one by the window! Just before Sulu and his slut came into view, Jim put his arm around me. Relaxed, I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thanks, Jim," I whispered, giving him a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, get a room," Sulu pleaded as he walked past us.

Not missing a beat, Kirk shouted after him, "Don't worry. We will."

We arrived in Maui less than an hour later. Spockenstein and the Bride of Spockenstein looked right at home in the oppressive heat, most likely because they had both grown up in similar environments, he on Vulcan and she in East Africa. Sulu and I, however, were dying. Having both been born and raised in San Francisco, we weren't used to this kind of sweltering weather. Even in the middle of summer, the temperature in the city rarely went over 80 degrees Fahrenheit. But, the sea air was just as soothing to us as the heat was to the Odd Couple.

Jim watched, amused, as I practically drank in the sea air. "Having fun, Misarte?"

"Not yet," I replied with a wink.

He laughed and took my hand. "Well, we had better get you to the hotel soon, then," he said with a smirk.

"Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a voyeur. Keep that kind of information to yourself," McCoy hissed.

"Sorry, Bones," he laughed.

"Keptin, vat is the doctor talking about?" Chekov asked curiously.

Us girls laughed and giggled as Jim and McCoy attempted to explain the birds and the bees to the Russian prodigy. Finally, McCoy promised to show him some informative charts once we were all back on the _Enterprise_.

The reception looked at Jim and Spock, and smiled flirtatiously. "Ah, Starfleet officers. You two must be the famous Captain Kirk and Commander Spock. I can't tell you how pleased we are to have you at our humble establishment. Please, allow me to show the two of you to your rooms," she simpered.

Jim tried not to laugh as he told her, "Actually, we're here with friends."

"Of course. How silly of me. I have your reservations right here. Please, follow me," she said without faltering. I had to hand it to her, she didn't give up.

Although we were all lucky enough to be on the same floor, our rooms weren't adjacent. But, we did all have suites. There were certain perks when your crew saved Earth.

She got to Jim's and mine first. It was the "Admiral's Suite". Fancy. "Here's your room, Captain," she oozed, opening the door for him, and then handing him the key. Jim stood in the doorway, wanting to see everyone else off. The annoying receptionist grabbed me by the arm and tried to tug me back to the rest of the group. "Your room is further down, Miss," she said, a bit shrilly.

"Actually," I said, yanking my arm free. "My room is _here_," I informed her, walking past Jim and slamming the door in her face.

Once the laughter died, I heard Uhura say, "Before you even try that shit with me, I'm with him."

I could practically see her clinging to Spock's arm for dear life.

Just before they wandered out of my hearing range, I heard her love-slave comment, "I was not aware you knew such colorful metaphors, Nyota."

That was too much for Jim and I to take. We slid down to the floor, using the walls for support, as we laughed our asses off.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if the skanky employee was going to attempt to split up Sulu and Lucy too. Actually, if it weren't for the knowledge she would try to get at him too, I wouldn't have minded.

"Hey, Selene, why'd you stop laughing?" he asked, nudging me with his shoulder.

"Do you really have to ask?" I replied sardonically. He had no response. "When are we going to meet everyone for lunch?"

"Around 13:00. Did you have something particular in mind?"

"Japanese," I mumbled.

"What?"

"I said 'I could go for Chinese', Captain."

"It's Jim, Selene. And, now that you mention it, so could I. It's been way too long since I've had some good dim sum. What are you going to wear?"

"I was going to go naked, but…" I trailed off.

"By all means, don't let me stop you," he said, tugging at the zipper of my dress.


	11. That'll do, Spock That'll do

**A/N: I would like to thank all of my reviewers and those who have put me on story or author alert. I dedicate this chapter to all of you. Oh, and from now on, each chapter will include Jim saying a pick-up line. Enjoy.**

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"_By all means, don't let me stop you," Jim said, pulling at the zipper of my dress._

I let him pull it halfway down before I pulled away. "Thanks, Jim," I said, happily. "I always have trouble with that."

"Anytime," he replied with a roguish wink as I went from the foyer to our bedroom to get changed.

With his usual perfect timing, he came in just as I had pulled my tank top on. "Don't you ever knock?" I asked disapprovingly. If he had come in any earlier, he would have seen a lot more of me than I wanted him to.

"It's my room," he pointed out, not affected in the slightest by my attempts at reproach.

Damn him, he was right.

"There's only one bedroom," I stated.

"And…" he replied, hoping I would get to the point.

"I suppose I'll sleep on one of those couches," I responded.

"Why?" he asked, looking as though he had completely lost track of the conversation.

"There's only one bed," I explained.

"Do you have a point, Misarte?" Jim looked bored, as though something that I failed to see was as clear as day to him.

"So we're going to share, then?" I guessed.

"Why not? The bed is more than big enough for the both of us. In the past, I would have taken a couch, but, now…"

"Now, what?" I asked, not liking the creepy glint in his eye.

"Now, I'm a Captain, so I'm entitled to a bed. Besides, have you ever known me to forsake an opportunity to have a lovely woman share my bed?" he winked.

"You're incorrigible," I informed him, unable to bring myself to be mad.

"Sticks and stones, love. By the way, Misarte, do you have a mirror in your pants?"

"No," I replied, staring at the crazy man. " Why would you even ask something like that?"

"Because I can see myself in them."

"Was that supposed to be a pick-up line?"

"Yes."

"You're losing your touch, sir."

"Rescind that statement before I have you brought up on charges," he replied, mortally offended. "I don't need to rely on pick-up lines to get women; they flock to me naturally. I'm only using them because I thought you would appreciate the humor."

"In that case, I suppose it was a bit funny," I amended. It seemed, for the next week, I was in charge of keeping his ego properly stroked.

For a few moments, he seemed appeased. Then, he hooked one finger under one of the straps of my tank top. "What is this. Lieutenant?" he asked, wearing an expression of such disgust, one would have thought that he had just walked in on an intimate encounter between Spock and McCoy.

"It's called a tank top, sir. Do you have a problem with it?"

"Yes, I do. Are you trying to make Sulu jealous, or remind him why he ran off with Lucy the Slut in the first place? Don't you have anything sexier to wear?'

"No, sir. I'm not exactly the girly type." Hell I wouldn't even wear that damned blue dress if I didn't weren't my uniform.

"That's it, Lieutenant. We're going shopping," he said, grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me out the door.

"Shopping? Now?" I asked, terrified. Malls were my archenemies.

"Yes, now. I work fast; we'll be done by lunch," he promised as he continued to drag me down the corridor.

We passed by Lucy and Sulu, huddled together in a little enclave. He was slumped forward, hiding his face in his hands, while she gently patted him on the back. As we passed by, she looked at me and scowled.

What did I ever do to her? Did I mess up her relationship with her almost-boyfriend? No, I did not. If anyone had the right to be angry with anyone else, it was me. So, I stuck my tongue out at her and clung to Jim. He grinned and draped an arm around my shoulders.

Lucy looked like someone had just shot her puppy.

I stood in front of Jim, feeling extremely self-conscious. This was by far one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. "You're sure this looks alright, Captain?" I asked, turning my head to avoid seeing my reflection in one of the many mirrors located around the store.

"You look amazing, Selene," he assured me, twirling me around so he could get a better look at me.

I wasn't exactly reassured. After all, he had been the one to pick my new outfit. Of course he would think it looked great on me.

Although I was opposed to being the owner of yet another blue dress, he claimed that the royal blue brought out the color of my eyes in a way my science officer uniform did not. He claimed that the color of my eyes matched my uniform too well, and that made them look washed out.

Another thing that concerned me was the length of the dress, or rather, the lack thereof. It was a good two inches shorter than my uniform. God, I would never be able to defend myself if the need arose.

"C'mon, Selene. We'd better leave now if we want to be on time for lunch," he said, pulling me out of the store.

By the time we got to the restaurant, everyone else had already arrived. I saw that McLogic had gotten us a round table.

"Hey, Spock," he said as we took our seats.

"Yes, Jim?"

"Has anyone come by to take our orders yet?"

"Not yet. We arrived shortly before Miss Misarte and yourself."

Kirk picked up his menu and looked it over for a few seconds before saying, "This group meal looks pretty interesting. Do you guys wanna get it?"

"Yes, Captain," we all replied, dutifully.

"Guys, guys," he said, shaking his head. "It's shore leave. You don't have to automatically agree to everything I say."

"I am aware of this, Jim. I have perused the menu and have come to the conclusion that it would be more efficient to get the group meal instead of our own individual meals," Spock informed him.

"Oh. Alright, then," he blinked. "Waitress!"

"Can I take your order?" she asked, paying particular attention to Spock.

"Back off, bitch! He's mine," Uhura said, clinging to his arm.

Spock's left eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch, but he didn't dispute her claim.

We got our food a short while later. Uhura fed Spocktacular bits of lo mein from he own chopsticks, while McCoy pretended to vomit onto his sweet and sour pork. Neighbour laughed and Chekov looked confused. Jim munched on his broccoli and beef contentedly as he proudly surveyed his crew. I was about to take a bite of my spring roll when I saw that neither Sulu nor Lucy had touched their food yet.

Just as I was about to ask if he was feeling well, Skanky McWhoreSlut put a hand on his shoulder and started pleading with him. "Hikaru, please, eat something." He shook his head sadly and stared out at the ocean. She picked up a morsel of fried rice and held it up to his mouth. Gently, but firmly, he made her put her chopsticks down.

Suddenly, I didn't feel so hungry either. Maybe I was going too far with my little plan for revenge. I just wanted to make him jealous enough for him to make some kind of claim, like Uhura was always doing with Spock. It would have been enough for me if he would have said, "Back off, Kirk. She's mine."

The room was starting to feel too crowded for my tastes. "Excuse me, everyone," I said, rising from my seat. "I need to get some air, so I'll just be going for a walk."

I lost track of time as I wandered through town, drowning in my own thoughts. Was I reading too much into Hikaru's lack of appetite? Maybe he just wasn't hungry. That had to be it! After all, if he was jealous of me and Kirk, he would have said something.

That was definitely it. Hikaru had a stomach bug or something. The plan to make him jealous would continue. Just as soon as I found my way back to the Chinese restaurant.

Where the hell was I? None of the buildings looked familiar. My scientific observations of the size, shape, and state of the surrounding buildings led me to believe I had inadvertently wandered into a less-than-savory part of town. No big deal. I could just get on my communicator and a rescue party would be able to find me.

Shit! I had left my communicator with Jim. So, I was lost in a bad part of town, without my communicator, and dressed to kill. For lack of a better phrase, I was boned. All of my training couldn't help me in the dress I was wearing. I didn't even have a phaser with me. (1) I was on shore leave, why would I possibly need a phaser? And, (2) where the hell was I going to keep it?!

I heard footsteps behind me. Quickly, I looked over my shoulder. Three shady looking guys were following me. Just fucking perfect. At this point, I would have been greatful for Chekov to show up, as long as he had a phaser.

"Hey, baby. Where are you going?"

I cringed. If I just ignored them, perhaps they would leave me alone.

"He's talking to you," another of them said.

Just my luck; they were starting to get pissed. I quickened my pace, hoping that sheer chance would lead me to a more populated area.

"Oh, looks like we've got a runner," the last one said, using the tone of a predator that had just spotted its prey.

Shit! I couldn't run in that god-forsaken dress. If I survived, I was going to kill Jim.

They didn't even need to run. A brisk walk was more than enough to close the gap between us. One of them caught me by the arm. "Nice," he said, like a jeweler appraising a gem.

"I'm warning you three," I said, speaking to them for the first time. "I am a Starfleet officer. If you do anything to me, there will be sever repercussions." Hopefully, the big words would confuse them long enough for me to escape.

No such luck. I had given the other two enough time to crowd around me. "I've got to say, I love the changes to the uniforms," one of them commented, running a hand along my thigh.

"Don't touch me, jackass," I spat, stomping on his foot. Someday, I will learn when to keep my mouth shut.

One of them raised a hand to hit me. I closed my eyes and waited for the blow to land. But, it never did. His stupid friends weren't saying anything either. Was I already unconscious?

I opened my eyes. They were gone. I looked down. There they were; all three of them were stunned. I looked around, expecting to see Jim, or even Sulu. But, neither of them were there.

"Are you injured, Lieutenant?" he asked, keeping his phaser at the ready in case any new assailants appeared.

"Negative, Commander. I am unharmed. But, I'm wondering…How did you find me, sir?" After all, he was one of the last people I expected to show up to rescue me.

"My tricorder can be used to locate crew members, in the even that they are out of uniform or if they are out of contact with the _Enterprise_." Figures. "If you were lost, it would have been much more logical for you to use your communicator to request assistance."

"I would have, sir. But, I accidentally left my communicator with Jim," I replied defensively. "It's not that I'm not grateful, sir…But, why are _you_ here?"

"I presume you wish to know why it was I, and not the captain or Lieutenant Sulu, was the one to find you?" I nodded. "Both of them were under the impression you required solitude. Not wishing to intrude, they made no attempt to follow you, even after an excessive amount of time had elapsed. Logically, I came to the conclusion that you were lost and in need of assistance. However, it did not occur to me that you had involved yourself in such a dangerous situation." That made sense.

"Are we just going to leave them there?" I asked, looking at my three assailants.

"I have already signaled the proper authorities. I assure you that they will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."

"Thank you, Spock," I said, as he began leading me back to the restaurant.

After one of the longest pauses I had ever witnessed, he replied, "You are welcome."

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_See that button down there? It's the review button. Click it and leave me a review._


	12. I fucked up big time

**A/N: I would like to give a special shout-out to the people who keep reading and reviewing for every chapter: Rita Arabella Black, Changgirl, Miss Di, and Kaokie. You ladies are the reason I spend my math class writing the next chapter, just so that I can start typing as soon as I get home.**

**I love all of you other readers, too. Maybe if you all would review more often, you would get special shout-outs too. I really do appreciate everyone who reviews and alerts. If no one reviewed, I would probably have never updated. So, thank you so much. As long as you keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. And, I promise to do my best to update every day.**

**Oh, and everyone go vote in the poll on my profile. It's important. The poll closes 06/24(or earlier, if I feel like it), so get voting.

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**He opened his communicator and paged Jim. "I have located Lieutenant Misarte," he reported tonelessly.

I heard various members of our group mumble various expressions of relief before Jim said, "Thanks, Spock. I owe you one, man. Now, can you hand her your communicator?"

"I have done so, Captain."

Kirk didn't waste a second. "What the hell were you thinking?! Why didn't you bring your communicator with you? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you if Spock hadn't gone after you? Have you got any idea how worried the rest of us were? I ought to-"

"Jim," I interrupted.

"What?" he replied angrily.

"You can punish me later," I responded suggestively. Amid the laughter, I heard a scoff. Three guesses from whom.

"Hey, Spock. Can you give me an estimate of when the two of you will be back?"

"Precisely 12.4 minutes, Captain."

"Okay. See you then. And try to keep her out of trouble, will you?"

"I shall endeavor to do so, Captain."

"You make it sound like I go out looking for trouble," I teased.

"You have not demonstrated any evidence to the contrary," he replied. Either he was insulting me or he was teasing me back. I couldn't tell which. Where was Uhura when you needed her? "I ask you to forgive my ignorance, as I remain ignorant of several Earth customs…"

"It sounds like you have a question for me," I said, hoping the light and friendly tone of my voice would encourage him to ask.

"It is a question of a highly personal nature, and I did not wish to-"

"Ask," I ordered. It felt good to boss him around for a change.

"Is it a common mating custom to attract a male by becoming the mate of another?"

"Well, when the male runs off with a different female, it is not unusual for the forsaken female to do so," I replied, glad that we were leaving names out of the conversation. "It is hoped that the male will see what he is missing, and will therefore return to his abandoned mate."

"Then, logically, you believe that Lieutenant Sulu has rejected you in favor of Ensign Vesta. Therefore, you have taken the captain as your mate in the hope that Lieutenant Sulu will return to you," he summarized.

So much for leaving names out of it. "Your assumption is correct, sir."

"Fascinating. Does this course of action usually end successfully?"

"Suppose you and Uhura had a big fight. Then, the next day, you see her all flirty with Kirk. What would you do, Spock?" I asked with a grin.

"I have no comment on the matter."

That's what I thought he would say. But, we both knew what he was thinking: he would miss Kirk up so bad that even McCoy would have trouble putting him back together again.

Everyone had finished their meals by the time Spock and I got back. Just as I was about to ask if anyone had gotten me a take-out box, I practically got tackled by Captain Kirk, who proceeded to throw his arms around me and kiss every bit of skin on my face and neck that he could reach, while skillfully avoiding my mouth. He may be a walking mass of sexual diseases, but he's a convincing actor.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" he said, concluding the public display of affection. "And that's an order!"

"Yes, Captain," I replied, giving him a mock-salute. I looked around, searching. "Did anyone get me a take-out box?" I asked, hopefully.

McCoy dropped a full bag into my hands. "Here."

"You're a live-saver, Doc." Curiosity overwhelmed me, so I opened the container. It was all there: spring rolls, vegetable dim sum, chow mein, steamed rice, pork buns, fried rice, and it even contained two fortune cookies, too. "Wow, all of my favorites! Who packed this? Thank you!"

"Hikaru did," Lucy informed me, her tone icy.

He and I looked anywhere but at each other.

"Well, how about we go rest at the hotel for a bit before we head down to the beach?" Jim suggested brightly, practically skipping as he lead the way.

After my little adventure, I felt like freshening up. Almost as soon as I turned the water on, I heard a knock at the door to our room. Jim welcomed our guest.

"Is Miss Misarte present?" Spock asked.

"No. She's in the shower." Which was technically a lie. Although I was in the bathroom, I was not in the shower. Instead, I had my ear pressed against the door so that I could hear their conversation better.

"Very well. There is something I must speak to you about, Captain. I do not believe Miss Misarte truly cares for you. She is, I believe, using you in an attempt to regain the affections of Mister Sulu."

"I know," Jim replied. I could hear him smirking.

"Pardon me, sir. I do not fully comprehend your response. Please clarify." Ah, McLogic sounded almost cute when he said that.

"I'm aware that she has no special feelings for me, just as I hold no special feelings for her. We have both been completely honest with each other the entire time. I am doing her a personal favor, as a friend and not her captain, so that she can get back at Sulu."

"You are not mates?" Spock queried.

"No we're not. We're just friends, Spock," Jim responded. "Besides I'm much more interested in that nurse roommate of hers. Mmm, wouldn't mind playing doctor with her."

"Are you certain our conversation is inaudible to Miss Misarte?"

"I'm positive. Selene!"

I made no response, but I decided that it was time to stop eavesdropping. Like a ninja, I quietly snuck into the shower without making any noise. Someone knocked at the door.

"Selene!" he repeated.

"I already told you that you can't join me, Jim," I teased.

I had a very strong feeling that the tips of Spock's ears were turning green. "That's not what I wanted to ask you," he laughed.

"What is it?"

"Selene, I've forgotten my communicator frequency. Can I have yours?"

"No, Jim," I giggled.

"Well, it was worth a shot. Are you almost done in there?"

"I'm done," I replied, shutting off the water. I wrapped myself in a towel in such away that it covered the least amount of skin possible while still preserving my modesty. I opened the door, smacking right into Spock.

…Don't look at me like that! I wasn't expecting them to be standing that damn close to the door!

Thank god my towel didn't fall. Kirk would have loved the show a little too much, and Uhura would have killed me for flashing Spock, even if it was a total accident. But, I didn't let that near miss fluster me. "What a pleasure to see you here, Commander," I beamed, unblushingly. "To what do I owe your visit?"

The poor guy turned so green that if he had been human, I would have been afraid that he was going to projectile vomit all over the room. But, he was still part-Vulcan, and although his body betrayed him, his mind would not. "I wished to have a word with Jim."

"Fascinating." Cue Eyebrow #2. "I haven't hidden my intentions from him, so you needn't worry about his feelings."

"But, Mister Sulu isn't aware of the nature of your relationship with the captain. It seems to me as though you are abusing his feelings for you."

"What?!" I shouted, stomping my foot indignantly. "He's the one who hurt me! Just a few days after we 'mated', he's hanging off of Lucy the Slut's every word like she's God's gift to humanity. The only guy I have ever been with decides to ditch me for another girl. You're not a woman, let alone completely human! How would you know what I'm feeling?!" I shouted.

"You are being illogical, Lieutenant."

"I know I'm being illogical. I'm a fucking woman you idiot!"

"There is no need for foul language."

"Maybe you should put some clothes on," Jim suggested.

When I returned, fully clothed, Count Spockula wasted no time in re-starting the conversation. "Have you attempted to discuss things logically?"

"Why should I bother? I don't want to hear all of the reasons he picked her over me," I huffed.

"If you have not discussed this issue with Mister Sulu, then there is a very large possibility that you have mis-interpreted his relationship with Miss Vesta."

On my list of things I thought would never happen to me, marrying Jim Kirk was at the top. But, second on the list was getting relationship advice from Spock.

"Why do you say that, sir?"

"I have observed that he has eaten nothing since this vacation began. Additionally, whenever he has seen you and the captain behaving in a particularly friendly manner, he has become increasingly sullen. Although you and the captain are always 'flirting' with each other, I have never seen Miss Vesta or Mister Sulu treat each other with anything more than friendship and understanding."

Damn. When he said it like that, it all made perfect sense. The one who had betrayed the other hadn't been Hikaru; it was me.

Without another word to Spock or Jim, I ran out of the room. I scoured the hallways, looking for Hikaru's room. Argh, I should have asked what room he was staying in before I left!

The telepath struck again. Right after the thought cross my mind, my communicator went off. "Miss Vesta and Mister Sulu are residing in room 510."

"You're the best, Spock," I told him before disengaging my communicator.

After a few more seconds, I found room 510. I pounded at the door, praying for someone to answer.

Unfortunately, the one who answered the door was Lucy. "What do you want?" she sneered.

"I want to talk to Hikaru, Ensign," I spat. If she was going to get all bitchy with me, I was going to remind her who the superior officer was. "Will you get him voluntarily or do I have to make it an order?"

"You are the last person who has any right to come here, demanding to see him. Not after what you did. I bet you have no idea just how heartbroken he is. You let him think that you had finally accepted him, and then you go run off to be the captain's new plaything."

Oh, I so wanted to smack that self-righteous look right off her face. But, I settled for giving her a direct order. "Ensign, I am ordering you to have Hikaru come to the door. And, don't even think about getting him to countermand that order, because I'll get…" I paused. It wouldn't be a good idea to bring Kirk into this conversation. "I'll get Spock to override him."

"I bet," she mumbled as she shuffled off to fulfill her orders. Sooner than I expected, he came to the door.

"Hikaru! I'm so sorry! I thought you and her…So, I-"

I never got to finish my sentence. He slammed the door in my face.


	13. Someone needs a hug

**A/N: I'm going to try to get up as many chapters as I can today. Forgive me, guys. But, I've got a very busy weekend ahead of me. Saturday morning, I have a wedding rehearsal to attend(my parents are photographers and I'm the videographer). That evening, I'm going to a barbeque to celebrate my cousin Jessica's high school graduation. And, Sunday is the actual wedding.**

**Oh, the girl getting married is the child of a couple of family friends, whom I have known since I was in third grade. Isn't it weird being at that age where all of your friends are starting to get married.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers. Your support keeps me going.**

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I stood there, shocked. Even though it had just happened, I couldn't believe that he would really slam the door in my face. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the voice of reason – which sounded pretty Vulcan, if you catch my drift – told me that it was no more than I deserved. I had made a stupid assumption based off of one action, and I wound up ruining one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

My mind was blank as I walked back to my own room. I flopped onto one of the couches and just stared up at the ceiling.

"I take it your attempt at an apology did not go well."

"Where's Jim?" I asked.

"He mentioned something about visiting Doctor McCoy," he reported.

"Why are you still here?" I inquired, totally bewildered.

"Do you wish for me to leave?"

"No. I was just wondering why you were here and not with Uhura."

"The captain wished for me to remain here in the event you returned unsuccessful and desired company."

"He didn't want me to be lonely?" I asked, touched. I couldn't believe Jim would do something like that. Even more unbelievable was Spock actually going along with it.

"Precisely."

"Won't Uhura be lonely without you?"

"She is enjoying the spa facilities offered by the hotel."

"I see. You don't have to stay if you don't want to, sir."

"I am aware of this."

For the next several moments, there was silence. Speech was unnecessary. He meditated while I tried not to think. If I started thinking, I would start thinking about how badly I had fucked things up. Needless to say, it didn't work. "How do you do that?" I asked.

"To what are you referring?"

"Meditation. You make it look so easy. As soon as you close your eyes, you look so…serene."

"Logic offers a serenity humans seldom experience."

"I could really use some of that right now," I sighed.

"Logic or serenity?"

"Serenity. Logic would just keep reminding me of how badly I've messed everything up."

"Perhaps, if given time, Mister Sulu will forgive you."

"Ha! He shouldn't. I wouldn't forgive me," I replied, rolling onto my side so that I could look at him while we spoke.

"That is illogical," he commented.

"Emotions usually are," I responded, agreeing with him to a degree. I noticed that his eyes were still closed. "Am I distracting you, sir?"

"Yes."

"Sorry. I'll shut up and let you concentrate."

"That will be unnecessary. I have completed my meditation for the day."

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"When you act like this…well, you seem kind of…" I couldn't finish my sentence; it would just embarrass us both.

"Go on, Lieutenant."

"Like-an-older-sister," I blurted out as quickly as I could.

"Enlighten me. How do I remind you of an elder female sibling?" he asked, completely bewildered by the illogicalness of my statement.

"You listen to me complain about my relationship issues, you've got so many useful insights on men, and you give some great advice," I explained.

"If I recall, you have five sisters-in-law. Why do you view me as a female sibling?" he asked, trying to make sense of our conversation.

"I do, but, to talk to them would be the equivalent of announcing all of my personal problems to my brothers. Which leads me to your question, sir. I call you an older sister because I would not wish to insult you by referring to you as my brother. Besides, I am sure that you will agree that I have quite enough brothers already."

"Your response is both bizarre and illogical. And, I must insist that you never address me as your older sister."

"Understood, sir."

I sighed again, this time as though part of a burden I had been carrying had been lifted.

"That is the second time in the past few minutes that you have made that sound. Are you unwell?"

"No," I assured him. "I'm just relieved that there is someone nearby that I can go to for serious advice."

"One would think that you would discuss such things with your roommate, a woman of similar age."

"Christine is like a sister to me, too, sir. But, being the illogical women that we are, the advice that we give each other is based on emotion. Sometimes, when getting advice on men, it's just better to ask one of them directly."

"I shall ponder what you have said to me, Miss Misarte," he said, rising from his seat.

"C'mon, Spock. We're sisters now. Call me Selene."

"I believe I requested a short while ago that you not refer to me as such," he replied, sounding almost irritated.

"Sorry, sir. The temptation was too much to resist. But, you have my word that I will never call you that in front of anyone else, sir," I promised.

"I suppose that will have to do," he responded, before exiting.

Feeling overcome by sleep, I trudged my way from the sitting room into the bedroom. The drowsiness actually made me more aware of the décor than I had been previously.

The bed was absolutely gigantic; it could have easily fit all ten of my nephews. And, the bedding was amazing as well. There were mountains of pillows, color-coordinated to blend well with the soft, aquatic tones of the sheets and blankets. It had a very soothing effect. I barely had time to crawl under the covers before I fell asleep.

My eyes opened, I was standing in a bridge above an abyss. On one side was Hikaru, and on the other, Jim. They were looking at each other. It was as though they couldn't see me.

I tried to speak to them, but no words came out. I felt the bridge shift; it was getting smaller. Panicked, I tried to shout for help. Spock materialized in front of me. Surely, he could help me.

But, he made no move to assist me in any way. Instead, he spoke. "Choose."

"What are you talking about?"

I could speak.

"Will you try to win him back, or will you let him go?"

The bridge was almost gone.

"Spock, tell me what I should do!" I pleaded. He was a thousand times smarter than I could ever hope to be. Naturally, he would have a solution. He always did.

"You must decide for yourself," he said, just as the bridge vanished beneath my feet.

I fell, loosing sight of all three of them. I kept falling and falling. It seemed like it would never end.

I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. In an attempt to slow my descent long enough for assistance to arrive, I thrashed my arms and legs around like a bird learning how to fly.

No help was coming. I would be doomed to fall forever, with only the sounds of my echoing screams to remind me that I was still alive.

This torture would last for an eternity. Why wouldn't it end?!

"Selene!" a voice shouted.

And then I was awake. I was in the bed at the hotel, just as I should have been. But, my face felt wet. Had my nightmare caused a cold sweat? I touched my cheek. No, not sweat. Tears.

Someone had awoken me. I blinked. There was Jim's face. He looked like he had just driven a Corvette of a cliff and was still in the car. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Ha! It should be me asking you that question. What the hell was that back there?"

"A nightmare," I confessed, ashamed.

"It must have been some nightmare," he said sympathetically. "I thought you were having a seizure, so I called Bones. He said he'd be here as soon as possible."

Right on cue, McCoy came bursting into the room. "Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a milkman!"

"What does that mean?" Jim replied, confused.

"I don't know," he admitted. "but, I've always wanted to say it. So, she had a seizure?" he asked, pulling some random medical equipment out of his bag.

"No, it just turned out to be one hell of a nightmare. But, you should have seen the way she was flailing around."

"People are known to move around in their sleep, Jim," McCoy replied, rolling his eyes. "But, I'll check her vitals just in case."

"Thanks, Bones."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, running a scanner over me. "Hmm. Heartbeat's faster than it should be, but that's pretty common after a nightmare. No seizure or anything else. She's fine, Jim." Having rendered his official diagnosis, he proceeded to pack everything up. "That reminds me…it's starting to get late. Everyone was wondering if we were going to the beach today or if we're going to the beach today or if we're waiting for tomorrow."

Jim sat down next to me on the bed. "Do you want to go?" he asked, still looking concerned.

"Not particularly," I admitted. I had gotten no rest at all, thanks to that damn nightmare, and I was exhausted. Going to the beach would just wear me out even more.

He looked at me for a few more moments. There was something in his eyes that reminded me of how my mother used to look at me when I was sick. "Tell everyone else that they can go if they want, but I'm staying here."

"Jim, she's perfectly healthy. She doesn't need you to stay here and look after her. And, even if she did need someone to keep an eye on her – I'm the doctor."

"He's right, sir. You don't have to stay behind on my account. Go to the beach and pick up all of the women that will have you," I encouraged.

"Wait," McCoy said. "You two aren't-"

"No," we replied together, a little impatiently. Hadn't we just told Spock the same thing?

"Then why do you-" McCoy began before Jim interrupted him again.

"A member of my crew needs me, Bones. I'm not going to abandon my crew for some women I don't even know."

"Don't say things like that, Jim," McCoy requested before he left. "It's unsettling watching you act mature."

After McCoy had gone, I pondered my next course of action. I had wanted to ask my green-blooded older sister to do me that particular favor, but that would have just confused him. As a human, Kirk would be more understanding. "Sir, I need a hug." Without saying another word, he lay down and pulled me into a gentle embrace. "Aren't you going to ask 'why'?"

"You forget, Lieutenant, that I am an expert on women. Clearly, you are feeling terrible about something and don't want to talk about it. And, if you do want to talk about it, you will when you feel ready. Besides, sometimes people just need hugs."

"Thank you, sir," I said, holding him a little tighter. Then, the floodgates opened. "I was so stupid! He was never interested in Lucy. I didn't even talk to him about it. Without trying to get his side of the story, I run off to get you to help me make him jealous. Stupid! I'm the one who betrayed him. I'm such an idiot. He had every right to slam the door in my face. He-"

"He did what?!" Jim exclaimed, appalled. He leapt out of bed and stormed his way to the door. "He didn't even let you finish apologizing?"

What had I done now?_

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Reviewers get a hug from the character of their choice._


	14. No Cure

**A/N: Here's the second chapter for today. I'm going to do my best to get a third chapter up. But, I'm not making any promises. Count yourselves lucky if you see chapter 15 up before Saturday night. Keep those reviews coming. They keep the chapters coming.**

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"Captain, you're over-reacting," I said, attempting to reason with him.

"He didn't even listen to you!"

"If I had just spoken to him in the first place-"

"You were trying to apologize and he slammed the door in your face! What kind of guy does that?" We had arrive at room 510. He started hammering at the door. "Lieutenant Sulu, you answer this door right now!"

"Yes, Captain," he responded, opening the door.

"Did you really slam the door in Misarte's face?" Kirk asked, pointing at me.

I hid said face in my hands. This was just the kind of situation I wanted to avoid.

"Yes, Captain," he answered, unashamed.

"She was trying to apologize!"

"I didn't want to hear it."

"You bastard!"

"Do we have to do this out here?" I asked, mortified. Would it have been so hard to talk like civilized people in someone's room, instead of shouting at each other like monkeys in the middle of a hallway?

"Stay out of this!" they both shouted at me.

"Don't talk to me like that!" I shouted right back.

"Hikaru, what's going on?" Lucy asked groggily.

"Oh, go back inside," I told her. She was the last person I wanted to deal with right now.

"Back to cause more trouble?" she asked snidely.

"Mind your own damn business!"

"Look. You brought the captain to fight your battles for you, again," she sneered.

"I tried to stop him, you ignorant slut!"

"That's rich coming from you."

That was the last straw. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my blood pounding in my ears. I couldn't even hear Jim and Hikaru's shouting match. All I knew was that I had had enough of Lucy the Slut. Mustering all of the strength I could, I punched her in the jaw. There was a satisfying crunching sound as her jawbone shattered.

"You bitch!" She lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. She pulled back a fist to return the blow. But, I managed to bring up a leg and kick her off of me.

We got back to our feet and ran at each other again. This time, she managed to get in a good kick at my legs. I stumbled, having lost my balance. But, if I was going down, I was taking her with me. I grabbed her by the hair and yanked her down, too. Several strands of her hair remained in my hand.

Now, we were rolling around on the ground, desperately trying to inflict pain wherever we could. All I wanted to do was make her suffer as much as I could.

Then, we were pried apart. We didn't know or care who had done it. They hauled us to our feet. I was grateful; it made it easier for me to attack. I attempted to lunge again, but I was restrained. I saw the same look of frustration I was surely wearing mirrored on her face, too. Why wouldn't they let us go?!

I writhed and squirmed, struggling to break free. "Let me go!"

A white hand appeared at the base of Lucy's neck. Ha! I knew what was going to happen next.

But, I didn't. I wasn't expecting him to knock me unconscious too.

When I woke up, I was back in my room, laying in my bed with the worst headache of my life. Hovering over me was Doctor McCoy. "What's up, Doc?"

"You missed it. There was a catfight out in the hallway. These two crazy women started shouting and fighting with each other. Luckily, their commanding officers were able to assure hotel management that it was all because of a hallucination brought on by Cardassian chicken pox, leaving the poor, overworked doctor to heal the crazy women."

"Sorry, Doc. How is she?" Not that I gave a damn.

"Her jaw was broken. Lost a tiny patch of hair. All taken care of. You're all patched up, too. Are you still experiencing any pain?"

"You're the doctor, Doctor."

"Don't get smart with me," he warned.

"Sorry. How much trouble are we in?" I asked, preparing myself for the worst.

"I really don't know. We'll have to wait and see."

"Urgh. That's even worse."

"Even if Jim decides not to press any charges, one of you is definitely going to be reassigned. There's no way you'll be able to work together now."

Shit. I felt like such an idiot for letting her get to me. I should have just been the bigger person and not done or said anything. Now, one, if not both, of us were going to have to leave the _Enterprise_.

"How is she, Bones?" Kirk asked, coming into the room.

"Back to normal," he replied. "Can I go enjoy my vacation now, or does anyone else plan on getting injured?"

"Dismissed, Bones."

"Thanks, Jim," he said sarcastically, making his exit.

"What were you trying to do back there?" he asked, looking more serious than I could ever recall seeing him before.

"The same thing you were planning to do to Sulu," I replied, stoically.

"Good point," he acknowledged.

Well, I had better just get the worst over with. "So, which of us is being reassigned?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"McCoy said that even if our fight didn't go on record, you would reassign one or both of us."

"Yes, that is a possibility. But, these decisions are left up to the captain's discretion, and the captain has decided that the both of you will remain on the _Enterprise_. However, the two of you will have to undergo conflict resolution."

"Great," I said, rolling my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I was more relieved than I could possibly express when I was informed that I could stay on the ship. But, I loathed that I would have to undergo counseling with _her_. "So, when is our first session?"

"Right about now," he replied, opening the door to allow her in. "Now, I want the two of you to behave yourself until your therapist arrives."

"And who would that be, Jim?" I asked.

"I have arrived, Captain," Spock said, entering the room.

"You?!" I was in shock.

"Is there a problem?" Insert raised eyebrow here.

"No. I was just expecting someone else. Like Doctor McCoy."

"I assure you that I am fully qualified to resolve conflicts between crew members."

"I don't doubt that."

"Can we just get this over with?" Lucy asked, looking as though she would rather be anywhere else in the galaxy. That was fine with me. I wanted her gone too.

"Indeed."

"Are you just gonna hang around the whole time, Jim?" I asked with a grin.

"I'm here in an official capacity, to supervise this session. So, no more joking around with me until we're done."

"Alright, alright. Let's get this going, si..r." Whoops. I nearly called him sis. That wouldn't have ended well. Spock probably would have killed me if I called him 'sis' in front of Jim.

"I believe that the source of this conflict is Lieutenant Misarte's relationship with Lieutenant Sulu. What is your issue with this relationship, Ensign Vesta?"

"She has no idea what she has put Hikaru through! Ever since he first stepped on her foot at that party, he hasn't been able to shut up about her. Anytime they have any form of interaction, I hear about it. So, when she suddenly shows up on the arm of Captain Herpes…No offense, Captain…"

"None taken."

Lucy continued. "He was devastated. After all of his efforts to get her, just when he finally feels that she loves him back, she runs off with _him_," she explained, pointing an accusatory finger at Jim.

"Lieutenant Misarte, your response."

"I thought _he_ was cheating on me with _you_. You two are always so buddy-buddy with each other, I figured there was something going on between you."

"I wish. The only one he can think about is you. No matter what I say or do, he won't hear a word against you unless he's the one saying it. You don't deserve such a great guy like him. I was his friend first! Why can't he love me instead? But, no, he has to be head-over-heels for a cold-hearted bitch like you!"

Oh my god. That was why she was always so mad at me. She loved Hikaru, and he loved me. I couldn't blame her for all of those things she said to me. I really did deserve it. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that to me. He's the one you need to apologize to."

"I tried. He shut the door in my face."

"You deserved it."

"I know!"

"I'll be glad if he never forgives you."

"I wouldn't blame you."

"Why don't you go crawl into a hole and die?"

"Spock needs an assistant."

"Do you have some smartass reply for everything?!"

"Pretty much."

"Captain, permission to slap her?"

"Denied. I already gave Bones the rest of the night off. No one would be able to patch you up if you two started fighting again."

"Lucy, I can't deal with this anymore. You can have him." It was such a huge lie. Imagine having every nerve ending in your body exposed to a naked flame. That is what it felt like to say that.

"I believe they have come to an understanding. This conflict is resolved."

"I think you're right, Spock. Vesta, you're dismissed."

"Yes, sir," she replied, prancing out of the room with a spring in her step.

"You're lying, Selene," Jim said.

"How did you know?"

"When you lie, your nostrils flare."

"Your behavior is illogical. You clearly desire Lieutenant Sulu as your mate, yet you relinquish your claim in favor of your rival. Why?'

"Spock, is it logical to watch the one you care about suffer when it is in your power to alleviate their pain?"

"No."

"It was worse than that in my case: I was the one causing him pain. I couldn't let that happen anymore. If he has more potential for happiness with Vesta, I will let him have that happiness with her, rather than selfishly try to keep him all to myself," I explained.

"I have no response to that…You are crying, Lieutenant. Are your injuries bothering you? Would you like me to summon Doctor McCoy?" he asked, reaching for his communicator.

Jim put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think that's going to do any good, Spock."

"Why not, Captain? The doctor is most proficient at healing human injuries. I am certain he would be able to cure Miss Misarte of whatever is troubling her," Spock replied, with a hint of confusion tainting the even tone of his voice.

"Even Bones can't cure a broken heart," Kirk told him.

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_Again, I would like to give love to all of my reviewers. You have no idea how amazing each of your reviews makes me feel. So, leave a review, or you'll make me depressed._


	15. Double Dinner Date

**A/N: Here's the third chapter in one day. I'm churning these out so fast, I've only gotten one review for Chapter 14 (Miss Di). I'm actually kind of hurt by that. Aren't you guys checking your e-mail religiously, hoping to see an update alert. You guys know I'm just teasing you. Keep reading and reviewing. **

**Oh, and if you haven't yet, please vote in the poll on my profile. So far only three of you have. This is important. I need your input.**

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"_Even Bones can't cure a broken heart," Kirk told him._

If there was anything more uncomfortable than having your friend discuss your failures at relationships right in front of you, it was if those friends happened to be your commanding officers. "Thanks guys. You have no idea how great it is to listen to the two of you talk about me like I'm not even here. By all means, please go on," I frowned at them from the bed.

"You are welcome, Lieutenant."

"Have you ever heard of sarcasm, Spock?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"I have."

"Well, I was being sarcastic a moment ago," I explained.

"As was I."

My jaw dropped.

"Were you joking with her?" Jim asked, awestruck.

"I was under the belief that humans often use humor to diffuse a tense situation. Was my attempt unsatisfactory?"

"No, not at all, Spock," I assured him. "It was just unexpected, that's all. Now that I know you were joking, it was actually pretty funny."

"Thank you, Miss Misarte. I am pleased you find my humor adequate."

It was even funnier when he kept a straight face when he said that. Then again, he always had a straight face.

Kirk looked at his watch. "Hmm. I think Uhura will be getting out of the spa any minute now. She'll be pretty pissed if you aren't in your room by the time she returns."

Both of Spock's eyebrow went up. "How did you gain knowledge of Nyota's schedule?" he asked, suspicious.

"I have no comment on the matter," Jim replied with his trademark 'I'm such a charming bad-ass' smirk.

"Very well," Spock acknowledged. "Have a pleasant evening."

"Bye, Spock," I waved cheerfully.

Kirk rested a hand on my head. "That took some guts, Selene. I can't believe you would actually give him up like that. Hell, I don't give up without a fight."

"I did fight. And can we please not talk about this?" I sighed.

"You sure?" he asked, moving his hand from my hair to my hand.

"Positive," I assured him with a squeeze of the hand.

There was a knock at the door. "Permission to enter the Captain's quarters?"

I wasn't aware of how tightly I had clenched his hand until Jim started shouting. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Do you have to squeeze so damn hard?" he asked. "Permission granted."

Hikaru came into the bedroom, where he had heard the voices coming from. His eyes widened slightly when he saw me still laying in bed. "Are you hurt? Lucy said…"

"I'm fine," I cut him off, struggling to sound dispassionate. "Is there a particular reason you came here?"

His tone got a lot sharper. Good. If I could make him angry enough, he would forget all about me, and then he could be happy with Lucy. "I came to talk to you."

"About what?" I replied, folding my arms in front of me in my most imperious manner.

"Lucy told me that you don't want me anymore," he admitted. Then, his eyes narrowed. "Do you have to hold his hand like that while you're talking to me?"

"I thought you trusted Lucy," I commented. "And, I'll hold his damn hand if I want to!"

"Hi guys. Captain. Right here. Either include me in the conversation, or stop bringing me into this." I actually felt a bit of sympathy, considering that he and Spock had just done the same thing to me not too long ago.

"Sorry, Jim. I'll try not to mention you," I said sweetly. Anything I could do to get Hikaru to believe I didn't have feelings for him anymore…

"Was she telling the truth?" Hikaru asked, pained.

"That depends on what she told you." Why couldn't he hurry? I wasn't sure how long I could restrain the tears that were already threatening to fall.

"She said that you don't love me and that you never did," he confessed, shame-faced.

I never said that last part, but it would work quite well with my intended goal. "She wasn't lying," I told him.

"Fine. Have a nice life," he said, giving Kirk and I the most tortured, and hurt look as he left.

I didn't want to hurt him. But, I had to. I had to hurt him to help him. The sooner he got over me, the sooner he could be happy.

"That was painful," Jim commented a few moments later.

"Shut up, Jim," I retorted, the first of the tears beginning to escape. If I didn't know better, I would swear he was getting some kind of sadistic satisfaction from watching my life implode.

"That's not very nice, Lieutenant. A word of advice for you: don't alienate the few people who are on your side, just because you're hurting right now."

"Point taken, Captain. If I may say so, you have the remarkable ability to dispense sage wisdom while simultaneously sounding like a self-absorbed jackass," I informed him.

"Thanks, Misarte. Just for that lovely compliment, I would like to invite you to take a walk along the beach with me," he said, standing up and offering me his hand.

"Oh, Jim," I sighed melodramatically. "I don't know what to say…"

"Say 'yes', Selene, my darling," he implored, pulling me from the bed.

Things had gotten too silly. I had trouble trying to stop laughing. "Alright, alright. I'll go on that walk with you, sir," I said. "Is this alright or should I get changed?" My clothes, normal civvies, had gotten a bit messed up during the catfight with Lucy.

"Of course you have to get changed! Wear that outfit I got you earlier today," he ordered.

"Sir, isn't that a little _much_ for this time of the night?" I asked, feeling more than a bit uncomfortable with showing that much skin, especially now that I knew that there was no reason to make anyone jealous.

"No way! Since I can't bring any hot young things back to the hotel, I have to go out and show you off and make everyone jealous that they're not with me," he informed me.

"Sir, haven't we learned anything about what happens when we try to make people jealous?" I asked, using a tone normally used only when one of my nephews was misbehaving.

"C'mon, Selene. Don't you ever just like to go out and show the galaxy how hot you are?"

"_You_ do?" I asked in disbelief.

"Duh. That's when I pick up the hottest women. Chicks dig confidence."

"I'm not interested in picking up women, sir."

"I don't judge."

I laughed. He wasn't such a bad guy when he wasn't trying to get into someone's pants. "Do I have to, sir?"

"Think of it as a therapeutic exercise. Watching people's heads turn as you walk by is a great ego boost. Makes you feel attractive. So, get changed and let's go," he ordered.

"Alright, sir. You talked me into it. I'll go with you."

A few minutes later, I had gotten changed into the stunning blue number from before. I had to admit, I felt…pretty. Hearing some vocal confirmation was good, too. "You look ravishing, Misarte."

"Thanks, Jim. You don't look half-bad yourself. So, are we ready to go make traffic stop, Captain?" I asked, holding up my arm, gesturing for him to take it.

"That's my line. But, yes, I am," he said, taking my arm.

We passed by my sister and his girlfriend in the hallway. "Where are you two going?" I asked.

"Dinner. I did some research and found this nice-looking restaurant. Do you two want to come along, or did you have other plans?" Uhura asked.

I looked to Jim. He grinned. "Our plans can wait. We'd be happy to join you, if that's alright with you, Spock."

"If Nyota desires additional company for our evening meal, I have no problem with it," Spock replied.

Jim actually looked a little disappointed. He had probably been hoping that Spock would get (a little) upset and refuse to allow us to join them. Secretly, so did I.

"What kind of restaurant is it?" I asked Uhura, looking around Jim so that I could look at her properly while we spoke.

"Italian. Spock here has never tried vermicelli, and I thought that it was a crime that had to be rectified," she explained with a grin.

"Hey, guys. Where's you get those two from?" a drunkard asked, as he and his companions stumbled along the sidewalk.

"To which two people are you referring?" Spock asked, making the gigantic mistake of speaking to them.

"The wom'n, ya pointy-eared freak. Must have had to pay a lot to get them to go with you," another drunk idiot elaborated.

I don't know what offended Uhura and I more: the fact that me had been mistaken for prostitutes or that Spock had been insulted. Uhura tried to protest, but Spock put a restraing hand on her shoulder, and led her away.

Then, one of the ambulatory imbeciles made the fatal error of shouting, "Where're ya takin' 'er?" and grabbing Uhura by the wrist, trying to pull her back to him.

Like a flash of lightning, Spock's hand whipped out and administered a less-than-gentle nerve pinch to the dumbass who had been foolish enough to lay hands upon Uhura.

"I apologize that you ladies had to witness that unfortunate occurrence. Perhaps it would be best if we did not linger and proceeded to the dining facility."

Jim translated it best: "I believe what our Vulcan friend is trying to say is 'let's get the hell out of here and find that restaurant.'"

"Captain, if I had meant to say that, I would have," Spock replied in his own defense.

Doing our best to avoid the eyes of the crowd that had gathered to watch McLogic incapacitate the drunkards, we made our way to the restaurant.

When we arrived, the host was less than friendly. Uhura had only made reservations for two, so when an additional couple showed up, the host got his panties in a twist when we tried to negotiate for an extra pair of seats.

Us humans were starting to get pissed. Just as Jim was about to storm out of the place, Spock behaved as only the child of a professional diplomat could: he name-dropped.

"I apologize for our oversight, and I acknowledge that you would be well within your rights to refuse to serve any of us. But, perhaps you could make an exception in this case as our companions are not superfluous individuals we casually invited along to share our dining experience-"

He was interrupted by the impatient host, who had a surprisingly thick French accent. "I doubt your friend is anyone of significance."

Spock said nothing but, "He is Captain James T. Kirk of the _USS Enterprise_."

Suddenly, Frenchie was stumbling all over himself to get our group the best seats available. "Than that would make you Commander Spock. I had no idea that we were serving the distinguished heroes of the Battle of Vulcan." Uhura and I mumbled something about being bridge officers aboard the _Enterprise_ too, but we knew that Jim and Spock had both done a lot more than we did, so we didn't complain too loudly.

Although, I think Spock might have heard us because I swore I saw the corner of his mouth pull up slightly.

We were served almost as soon as we as our orders were taken. And, Jim made a bit of a scene showing Count Spockula the proper way to eat spaghetti: slurping it as loudly and making as much of a mess as possible. Uhura and I were torn between mortification and laughing our asses off, but Spock immediately declared Jim 'illogical'.

After dinner, even though we both professed that we were stuffed, Uhura and I both ordered the dessert sampler – a gift from the heavens containing a small piece of every dessert offered at the restaurant.

To our surprise, our entire meal was complimentary because the management wanted to make amends for being "so blind that they were unable to recognize and treat with proper respect such acclaimed heroes of the Federation". Spock thought they were being illogical (even though he always thinks that _everyone_ is _always_ being illogical). But, the rest of us were glad that we didn't have to pay the gigantic bill.

"We're going to head back to the hotel now," Uhura said after farewells had been exchanged. "What about you two?"

"I think we're going to wander around town for a bit longer," Jim said. "After all, that was what we were planning to do before you two dragged us to dinner."

"You came of your own accord, Captain. There was no force involved," Spock replied.

"We know, we know. See you later, you two," Jim resonded.

"I suggest you take particular care of Lieutenant Misarte. I have noticed an increased number of inebriated individuals roaming the streets," Spock advised. "Her safety may be in jeopardy."

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_Review. The power of Spock compels you!_


	16. It's about damn time

**A/N: I hope you guys are happy. I'm doing my best to get this typed up while my parents are out looking at cameras, so no complaints about length or quality. Thank you to all of my reviewers and those of you that have voted in the poll on my profile. The way the vote is turning out so far is going to cause some pretty hilarious things.**

**Regarding the story format, it's getting pretty weird to keep typing the story as if she is talking to somebody. So, I was thinking that I would just type it like a regular story. Give me your opinions on this switch.**

**Also, something on a more personal note that I would like to add…Back in high school, I was in a situation very similar to Lucy's. I had a very close male friend that I cared for very much. But, he liked another girl. This girl was my rival in everything. If I wanted a part, she got it. If I started hanging out with a particular group of friends, so would she. Once she found out I liked That Guy, she went after him too.**

**The catfight in the previous chapter was based off of something that very nearly happened between Her and I. It was the week of his Senior Ball (Her and I were Juniors at the time), and we were all in our afterschool improve class, waiting for the teacher to arrive.**

**The two of them start discussing how many pictures they're going to get. She wants more than he is willing to pay for and refuses to pay the difference. The argument gets out of hand and she says some very nasty things to him. He seriously looked like he was about to cry. And I had never seen him cry before. He left the room to get some air, and I nearly lost it. I came so close to breaking her fucking face in that it isn't even funny.**

**It might seem to you all that I was over-reacting, but this was just one in a long stream of horrible things she had put him through and I was sick of watching Her treat Him that way. I just couldn't believe she would put him through all that just over some goddamn pictures.**

**Sorry for ranting. Here's the chapter.**

"_I suggest you take particular care of Lieutenant Misarte. I have noticed an increased number of inebriated individuals roaming the streets," Spock advised. "Her safety may be in jeopardy."_

"Come on, Spock. You worry too much," Jim said with a light-hearted grin.

"Based on previous actions that have taken place this evening involving both Lieutenants, I have observed that it is not safe for women to be out this late at night with such minimal protection."

"Who are you calling 'minimal protection'?" Jim asked, affronted

"Are you armed, sir?" Spock replied, not answering the question asked of him.

"Got my phaser and communicator. If there's any trouble, I'll call for back-up," he assured him.

I was expecting the next words out of Spock's mouth to be something along the lines of "Have her home by a reasonable time", but I was disappointed.

"If you are certain, sir," Spock said, before he and Nyota went back to the hotel.

"Dam green-blooded hobgoblin. Thinks I can't take care of a few thugs. Please, I was winning barfights against twice that many guys who were three times as big before I had even graduated from high school."

"Very macho, sir," I teased.

"Thanks," he replied, looking like he meant it.

"I just keep fucking up, don't I, sir?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Any tips on how I can stop fucking up in the future?"

"Stay locked in your quarters and never do anything ever again. Living is all about making mistakes, and learning from them. Your problem is that you aren't learning from yours. You keep making the same mistake: you never talk to Sulu about anything. You keep making decisions on your own. Talk to him," he urged me.

"I don't think either of us want to talk to each other at the moment," I replied. Which was probably true. I knew that I would start crying if I had to talk to him for any amount of time longer than two minutes.

"Give it some time."

"How long?"

"I don't know. Just don't try to force anything. Let it happen naturally. I've seen the way you guys still look at each other when you think no one is looking. The two of you will get over this eventually," he assured me.

"Why are you so good at giving advice when you have never had a girlfriend for longer than two weeks?"

"I do not know."

"Don't say that. You sound like Spock."

"Understood."

"Keptin, vhy have are all the people not vearing anything?" Chekov asked, blushing.

"I-I didn't know these still existed," I said, shocked, as I put my hands over Chekov's eyes.

"I believe this is what is referred to as a 'nude beach', Ensign," Spock explained. "They were thought to have died out in the late 21st century."

"Can I go out and play now, Selene?" Kirk asked, looking like he was a kid that had just been locked inside a candy store.

"No. We're leaving, Jim," I said, pulling him by the ear.

"Ow! Why not?!"

"If Chekov stays here any longer, his head might explode," McCoy pointed out.

"Point taken," Jim replied, trudging back the way we had come. "Chekov can't come on any more shore leave trips," he added bitterly.

Chekov looked he was about to cry. "That's no fair, Jim," I said, folding my arms crossly.

"Fine, he can come. But, it looks like we won't be going anywhere fun for another few months," he rescinded.

"Does that mean I can choose vhere ve go next, Keptin?"

"As long as it isn't Russia."

Chekov gave him the puppy dog eyes again.

"Fine," he sighed. "Next shore leave, we're going to Russia."

There were numerous groans.

_Sulu POV_

What did I ever do to make her think I liked Lucy as anything other than a friend? I just didn't understand what she was thinking.

Even for all of the advancements in technology, science had yet to tell us how women think. Maybe then guys could understand how girls' brains make the connection between smiling at a friend and infidelity.

Couldn't she have just come to talk to me? I could have talked to her about everything and set her straight. But, no, she had to go running to the captain to make me jealous. And, it worked.

God, it worked. I wanted to wring Kirk's neck, which scared me…a lot. Kirk and I shared a kind of camaraderie after what we had experienced together when we sabotaged that Romulan drilling platform. But, just seeing her on his arm made all of that go out the window.

I had a sudden understanding of what my dad meant when he called women the most beautiful, painful, irresistible torture ever created. They would rip your heart out of your chest, chew it up, spit it out, stomp on it, and then put it back. And, then you would go back to them, pleading for more.

I wanted to hate her so badly. But, I couldn't. Not even after she had told me that she had never loved me. I tried, believe me, but…I couldn't.

I was thinking about going to ask Spock to wipe her from my memory, but I didn't. He was too friendly with her. He would have told her what I wanted, and she would have stopped him. She would want me to live with the torture.

God, women are sadists. They love watching what they put us through. When we stop squirming, they come up with something even worse just to keep us in misery.

They're like brain ninjas. They can plant a harmless little comment in your mind. But, it festers. Later, maybe a few days or maybe a few weeks, it goes off like a time-delayed explosive device. You explode, and they get that damned annoying smirk on their face, and you both know she's won.

Maybe I could talk to McCoy about ending my misery…No, he'd never do it.

I'll just have to endure it.

_Selene's POV_

It felt good to be back on the _Enterprise_ after so long. Naturally, as soon as I got back, Christine grilled me all about how everything had gone.

Of course, I lied. I didn't want to keep repeating what a gigantic dumbass I was. So, I just told her that nothing had happened between us. I didn't tell her how about the night we shared, nor did I tell her about how my inability to communicate had split us up before we were even truly together.

So, things went about as normal on the ship for quite a while. The months and weeks seemed to run together in my mind. But, any time Hikaru and I interacted at all, I would give Christine the lowdown, just like I had before.

Then, there was the Phaser Tag game we were invited to…I was beyond shocked to discover that Hikaru had asked for me personally. Something was definitely up. I only became more suspicious when he was actually protective of me.

It was after the game that we found the time to talk.

"Why?" he asked, simply.

"You already know why."

"I meant why didn't you talk to me about it in the first place."

"I don't know," I confessed. "I wasn't thinking. I just…acted."

"Well, you were an idiot."

"I know," I admitted.

"Did you really say that stuff to Lucy?"

"Only the first part."

"Why?"

"I wanted you to be happy with her."

"Well, I didn't!" he shouted. "Why can't you ever talk to me? You always assume you know what I'm thinking or that you know what I want. Talk to me!" he shouted, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me a little.

"I'm sorry! I was such an idiot! I'll talk to you from now on. I won't assume anything anymore," I blurted out. There was silence for several minutes. "Do you still want me?" I asked, not daring to get my hopes up.

"Yes!" he replied. "I have know idea why, but I do. I just want you back."

"You're crazy," I said, burrowing myself into his arms.

"I know," he responded, pulling me even closer, and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I'm going to see Doctor McCoy for a psychological evaluation tomorrow."

_There. Our lovers are back together again. Next chapter up eventually._


	17. Something to keep you occupied

_**Watch this link, and then read this chapter. **_

_**http://www. youtube. com/ watch?v=M63GVUAGc10**_

"I am the captain of the starship, _Enterprise_," Kirk sung happily.

"Captain Kirk, this is Spock. Please step on the transporter," he requested, also singing.

"Dilithium crystals hit by Klingon missiles! No!" Scotty sung, joining in.

"I'm a doctor!"

"Not an actor."

"Not a milkman!"

"What does that mean?" Jim asked, still singing.

"And, I'm sorry. He's dead, Jim."

"Photon torpedoes!" Chekov vocalized, unable to remain silent.

"Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies."

"Yes, Captain Kirk. Opening hailing frequencies, sir."

"Let's boldly go where no one's gone before. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Beam me up, Mr. Scott. Sulu go to warp."

"Warp 3, sir?"

"No, that will be way too slow."

"Warp 4, sir?"

"That still is way too slow."

"Warp 5, sir?"

"That still is too damn slow."

"Warp 6?"

"It's too damn slow!"

"Warp 7?"

"It's too damn slow!"

"It's too damn sloooooooow!" I sung, along with the rest of the bridge crew.

"No no no no no no no! Mr. Chekov, Mr. Chekov," Kirk requested.

"I am firing torpedo!"

"That will not work and would be illogical to me. To me! To meeeeeeeee!" Spock concluded the song, as the bridge dissolved into guitar riffs.

_Didn't you love it?_


	18. Giving alcohol to minors

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates. The Doc Manager wouldn't let me upload anything, and I was super busy with wedding stuff all weekend. I was pretty much a bridesmaid without the pretty dress. But, I caught the bouquet, so it was totally worth it. Thanks again to all of my loyal reviewers. If you haven't yet, please vote in the poll on my profile. As the results currently stand, some pretty crazy shit is gonna go down. And, it won't be my fault, because that's what you guys voted for.**

**This chapter is dedicated to the new Mr. & Mrs. Edwards.

* * *

**I couldn't believe it. As soon as I got Hikaru back, Christine decided to stay behind on a planet with a serious epidemic. Was it karma? I know I deserved it, but it still hurt.

"Are you upset about Chapel?" Hikaru asked, entering the room that would indefinitely be mine alone.

"Yeah," I confessed.

The room felt so empty without Christine.

"I think I know what'll cheer you up," he said confidently.

"What?" I asked doubtfully.

"Playing with really sharp, dangerous objects," he replied, holding up the hilt of what I liked to refer to as his 'collapsible katana of badassery'.

"You're going to teach me how to fence?" I asked, stunned.

Fencing was something unique to Hikaru. Any Starfleet officer could point and shoot a phaser. But, it took a extraordinary man to wield an antiquated weapon like a sword against an opponent armed with a phaser. And win. Consistently. It made me feel very exceptional that he would share something so distinctive with me.

"It'll really come in handy. Fencing is more than just swinging a sword around. You'll be surprised how much it helps if you ever get involved in unarmed combat," he assured me.

"Well, if you're going to teach me something, I want to teach you something too," I said, shaking his arm playfully.

His cheeks pinkened. "You don't wanna hear it."

Now, I had to know. "C'mon. Tell me _Hi-chan_."

He shuddered. "Don't call me that."

"Then tell me what you're blushing about," I insisted, nudging him with my elbow.

"Do I have to?" he whined, like a child who had just been asked to do a chore they hated.

"If you tell me, I'll tell you what I call Commander Spock when no one else is around," I promised. Hikaru's eyes narrowed dangerously. Quickly, I raised my arms in a gesture of surrender. "I swear on my life that there is nothing romantic between us. He's like my older…brother. Besides, he's head over heels for Uhura, and I prefer my men to be completely human."

"Fine," he relented. "I don't know how to cook food from scratch. I've always used a replicator," he confessed. His tone became urgent. "Now tell me what you call Commander Spock." Clearly, he thought he was going to get some blackmail material out of me. Not gonna happen.

"I call him," I whispered secretively into his ear. "Spock."

His face fell. "No fair! I told you," he pouted.

"It's alright," I told him. "I don't mind teaching you how to cook. Although, I don't know why you were so embarrassed in the first place."

"Shut up. That's why," he snarled at me.

"Someone's not very friendly today," I laughed, worming my way into his arms.

"_Yatta!_ I made you laugh!"

"Wait. What?" I was totally lost.

"I couldn't stand you being all mopey about your roommate, so I tried to see if I could get you to laugh. It worked," he explained smugly.

"Two can play at that game," I said threateningly, inching toward the visual monitor.

"You don't mean…" he groaned miserably.

"That's right," I smirked, evilly. "We're going to watch some of those old Terran 'TV shows' that you hate so much."

"Gah! This is torture," he complained.

I glanced at my watch. "And you've got forty more minutes of torture before we need to report for duty."

"This is cruel and unusual punishment!"

"Oh, shut your face," I said lovingly, activating the monitor.

Thirty minutes later, Hikaru was just as addicted to one particular drama as I was. "Is Spock really going to eat that girl's brain?" he whispered.

"Shh! I don't know. I haven't seen this episode yet!"

"_Are you going to eat it?"_ the blonde girl with her brain exposed asked.

"_Eat your brain? Claire, that's disgusting,"_ the Spock look-alike replied.

"That was insane," Hikaru kept repeating. I couldn't help but nod in agreement. "So, Spock can take people's powers, just by poking around their brain?"

"Pretty much. But, Claire's the only one who could live through it."

"Whoa…" he said, just as we entered the bridge.

"Ah. Lieutenant Sulu. Relieve the-"

"AHHHHH!!! Stay away from my brain, you psychopath!" Sulu shouted as soon as he saw the Commander. He ran in terror, hiding behind the command chair.

"Misarte, may I ask…?" Jim began.

"You might as well, sir."

"Alright. What the hell?"

"Well, the helmsman and I were watching a 'TV show' in my quarters, and one of the villains bears a striking resemblance to the Commander," I explained.

"Uhura, put the footage onscreen."

"Yes, Captain."

Not too long afterwards, almost everyone on the bridge was staring at Spock.

"Fascinating. It appears as though this doppelganger also has the ability to look into the minds of others," he commented.

"Yeah, but you can do it without having to remove the top of their skulls," Uhura replied, unfazed by what she had seen.

"Keptin, I need to go to Medical," Chekov said, looking pale green.

"Go ahead," Jim acknowledged.

Poor Chekov. Watching someone poke around someone else's brain had been too much for him. But, even after an extended period of time, he didn't return to the bridge.

It wasn't until much later that night, when Hikaru was slipping into my bed, that I found out what had happened with Chekov.

"McCoy's an asshole," he whispered, sliding under the blankets.

"What happened?" I asked, rolling over to stroke his cheek.

"Pavel went to Medical to be treated for nausea, and McCoy was vicious. More vicious than normal, anyway."

"How did you find out?"

"Well, first I dropped by Medical to check on him, but he wasn't there. So, then I went to our room, and he was on his bed…and…well, he was really upset…"

That poor little guy. I needed to have a word with the only person who could stop him from acting like such an asshole. Besides, it had been much too long since I had spoken to Christine.

Once I had sent the message to her, I climbed back into my bed. "Are you sure Chekov doesn't need you?" I aksed, pressing my face against his back, in the gap between his shoulder blades.

"He gave me the impression that he would rather be left alone, actually," he replied. I knew from the way his muscles shifted that he was smiling.

The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit queasy. But, that was normal for me, since I suffered from low blood pressure. Practically every time that I stood up after laying or sitting down for long periods of time, all of the blood would rush away from my head, leaving me near-faint and slightly nauseous.

For a while, I considered visiting Doctor McCoy, but, since it was a pretty regular occurrence for me, and he wasn't in the best of moods, I decided to wait until Christine got back before I would even put one foot in Medical.

As I walked to the bridge, I paused by a replicator to get a little something special for Chekov. Grinning to myself, I walked to the helm and set the glass of vodka down next to him. I ruffled his hair a bit, causing him to turn to his left and notice what I had given him.

"Thank you!" he beamed at me.

"Hey, it's the best thing for you after a rough night," I shrugged.

"Did I just spy an officer giving alcohol to a minor?" Jim asked, on his way to relieve the duty officer who had been in command until the captain had awoken.

"Depends. Would said Lieutenant be punished if this were the case?" I asked.

"No. Not if she gets me one too," he smirked.

"I'm not a Yeoman, Captain," I retorted, making a face at him.

"You will be if you don't hurry up with that Romulan Ale," he threatened.

"Yes, Captain," I mumbled, heading back to the replicator. "May I get back to work now, sir?" I asked as I handed him his drink.

"We'll see. Hey, Spock!" he shouted.

"Yes, Captain?" he replied, unfazed.

"You need Misarte's help?"

"I find myself capable of handling the minimal amount of work that we have been given. But, competent help is always appreciated," he replied.

"Okay, you can go," Jim said, pouting like a child who had just gotten his favorite toy taken away.

"Lieutenant, are you well?" Spock asked.

"Good morning to you, sir," I retorted with a grin.

"I ask you again in all seriousness, are you well? You seem flushed," Spock commented.

"I'm fine, sir" I replied. "I just got out of bed a little too quickly this morning. Nothing's wrong."

"Very well. I suggest you go to Medical, just to be certain."

"Is that an order?" I asked.

"No, merely a request from a friend."

"Aww. I'm touched."

"I apologize. I was not aware I had come into contact with you," Spock said, moving a bit farther away from me.

"It's fine. You didn't physically touch me. Never mind," I replied, figuring it would be better not to confuse him by discussing emotions. "OW!" I shouted, crumpling to the ground.

"Lieutenant?" Spock said, kneeling beside me.

"What happened?" Sulu asked, rushing over. Jim wasn't very far behind him.

"Nothing, nothing. It was just a really strong cramp," I promised them. Spock was the only one who didn't look away, blushing or mumbling something about women's problems.

"I was not aware that it was time for your menses," Spock commented, causing Jim and Hikaru's jaws to drop considerably.

"What? You keep track?" I aksed, not knowing what to feel.

"My olfactory senses are sharp enough to discern the subtle differences caused by hormonal changes that occur within the human female every 28 Earth-days," Spock explained.

Well, that made me feel slightly less uncomfortable.

* * *

_You know what really sucks? The fact that I keep catching the bouquet at weddings, but I"VE NEVER HAD A GODDAMN STEADY BOYFRIEND!!!_

_Read and review.  
_


	19. Holy Shit

**A/N: Well, the poll has now been closed. You will read the results in this chapter. I hope you all are proud of yourselves because this is all your fault. And I assure you, all medical information in this chapter is accurate and has been researched and/or drawn from personal experience.**

**This chapter(and long overdue dedication) go out to my son, Sylar. _Kaa-chan_ loves you, sweety.  
**

* * *

Why did this keep happening? As soon as Christine got back, there was there was this huge party celebrating her accomplishments. And, some stuffy-ass doctor wants her to come back to Earth as a researcher.

I mean, what the hell?! Why did the universe insist on keeping my hetero life-mate and I apart?

"Dammit!" I shouted, throwing my empty glass, which used to contain water, against the door.

The door whooshed open just as the glass left my hand. Unfortunately, it opened because Hikaru had picked this time to invade my privacy. I didn't even have time to tell him to duck.

Thankfully, his ninja-like reflexes didn't require my warning. "What did I do?" he asked, remaining flat against the floor, even after the glass had bounced harmlessly against the corridor wall.

"Nothing!" I shouted. "Does everything in my life always have to revolve around you?"

"I never said it did. Are you alright?" he asked tentatively, hesitating as he dared to enter my quarters.

"What do you think, you moron? Do I seem alright to you?" I responded, bristling at all of the questions.

"Settle down," he pleaded.

"I'm not a child!" I shouted, hurling a pillow at him with all my strength. God, why did he have to treat me like a kid? Couldn't I be angry without people assuming something was wrong with me?

"I think I'm going to sleep with Pavel tonight," he said, making a blatant escape attempt.

"Aha! The truth comes out! You've been in love with Chekov the whole time, haven't you?!" I accused, distraught. "He's still a minor, you pervert!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" He replied, throwing his hands into the air.

"Like you don't know!"

"I don't!"

"Then why don't you go ask your little Russian boy-toy? I bet he could tell you all about it!"

"What's wrong with you?" he shouted over my wailed accusations of his infidelities.

"Nothing!" I screeched. "Don't you listen?!"

"I must disagree with your assessment of the situation, Lieutenant. You have become more illogical than it is normal for a human woman to be. I suggest you see Doctor McCoy."

"The hell I will! Do you think I want that pissy old man poking and prodding at me? Fuck that shit with a god-damn mother-fucking brick!" I responded venomously.

"There is no need for profanity, Lieutenant."

"Fuck yeah, there is! You two are trying to have me dragged to Medical so that sick bastard can dissect me. Well, I'm not going to go quietly," I assured them.

"Has she come into contact with any intoxicating substances recently?"

"No. She wouldn't go near any of the alcohol at the party last night," Hikaru replied, still desperately trying to figure out what was going on.

"Fascinating," Spock commented, regarding me appraisingly.

"Oi! What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, looking at the Vulcan suspiciously.

"Lieutenant Misarte, I am ordering you to report to Medical. Lieutenant Sulu, you may accompany us, as, you are involved," Spock ordered.

"Fuck! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck!" Just because it was an order didn't mean I had to like it.

Spock followed us the whole way there. God, was he taking the big sister role seriously or what?

McCoy was the only one there. Where the hell was Christine?! Was he hiding her somewhere?

"Not you two again," McCoy said, rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you go play 'hide and go fuck yourself', Doc?" I spat.

"What's up with her?" he asked, gesturing at me with his thumb.

"We brought her to you to ascertain the answer to that very question," Spock replied.

"I came into her room and she was throwing stuff around and shouting at me," Sulu admitted, shamefacedly.

McCoy snorted. "I think I already know. Misarte, when did you start your last period?"

"None of your damn business," I hissed at him.

"Approximately 35 days ago, Doctor," Spock answered.

"I'm not even going to ask how the hell you knew that," McCoy said, turning away from Spock and looking back at me. "Lay down," he commanded.

"Like hell!" I replied, crossing my arms defiantly.

"Spock, would you?" McCoy requested.

Would Spock what? Oh, shit! I knew what he wanted Spock to do. But, I wasn't quick enough to escape. I barely had time to register the pressure at the juncture of my neck and shoulder before I fell unconscious.

When I woke up, I was strapped to one of the exam tables. "You sons of bitches, what the fuck have you done to me?" I shouted, struggling to escape from my bindings.

"You really shouldn't do that," McCoy said, pushing me back down onto the bed.

"Oh yeah? And give me one good reason why I should listen to you."

"Dammit, I'm a doctor! That's why!" he shouted. "Plus, you're pregnant."

I had been preparing to come up with some witty response, but that bit of information caught me by surprise. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"You're. Pregnant," he repeated. "Really, really, really pregnant."

"Hold on. Just how pregnant am I?" I asked.

"My readings registered 6 life signs. I'd say you're 5 weeks pregnant, based on Spock's mysterious knowledge of your menstrual cycle," he clarified.

There was a rustling sound to my left. I turned to see what had happened: Hikaru had fainted. Thankfully, Spock had managed to catch him in time.

"Do you know what they are?" I asked, barely able to formulate words.

"Three of each," he reported.

"Holy shit," Hikaru whispered.

"You're telling me," I responded.

"Based on the doctor's diagnosis, it would appear that Lieutenant Misarte's recent aggression has been, what is referred to as a 'mood swing'."

"Do you want any of them?" McCoy asked, still professionally distant.

I looked to Hikaru. Regardless of whether or not he wanted any of them, I was not going to kill my children. "All of them," I said, more certain of this than I had ever been of anything else in my life.

Hikaru nodded. I beamed at him. I was glad that he supported me in this decision.

"Alright," McCoy began, now wearing a bit of a smirk. "But, I'm warning you, you two. Carrying this many multiples is still a bit risky, even in the 23rd century. So, I want you to do everything I tell you to, am I clear."

"Fine," I repeated, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Oh, and sorry guys. But, I have to tell Jim. As captain, he has to be informed of medical conditions that affect will affect the work of his crew. And this one will affect the both of you," McCoy told us, sounding the slightest bit apologetic about this breach of doctor-patient confidentiality.

I rolled my eyes, but Hikaru replied, "Understood."

McCoy pressed a comm button. "Captain to Medical. There's been a development."

"On my way, Bones," he replied. "Uhura, you'll be in command while I'm gone."

A short while later, Jim arrived. "What are you three doing here?" he asked, looking at Hikaru, Spock, and I.

"She's pregnant," McCoy said.

"Congratulations, Selene," he winked, causing me to giggle. "Boy or girl?"

"It's worse than that, it's sextuplets, Jim," Bones clarified.

"Damn! I didn't know the two of you had it in you," he grinned, clapping Hikaru on the back.

"Shut up, Jim," I replied.

"Got any names planned?" Jim asked, turning to Sulu as though he hadn't heard me.

"Izumi, Naoki, and Setou for the boys. And, Saori, Hinata, and Yuki for the girls," Hikaru replied without hesitating for a moment.

"You came up with those just now?" Jim asked, slightly impressed. Hikaru nodded proudly. "What do they mean?"

"Well, the definition of Japanese names depends on the characters that are used to write them. Izumi means "Fountain"; Naoki means "Straight Tree"; Setou means "Eastern Rapids"; Hinata means "Facing the Sun"; Yuki means "Evening Snow"; and Saori is written with the characters _Sa_ meaning "Sand", _O_ meaning "Cherry" or "Cherry Blossom", and _Ri_ meaning "Jasmine". It sounds weird in English, but it's a very pretty name in Japanese," he elaborated.

"How do you feel about those names?" Jim asked me.

"I like them," I said with a warm smile. They were all very pretty names, even for the boys.

It was a very surreal feeling knowing that there were not one, but six people growing inside of me. I couldn't even feel them yet. Very bizarre. I could only imagine how Hikaru felt.

This very morning, the two of us had woken up together, lovers. Tonight, we were going to bed as parents. Our lives weren't just about us anymore. We had to plan for six children, who would becoming into our lives within the next eight months.

Hikaru reached out for my hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. We shared a very warm, intimate moment before Jim interrupted.

"Can I tell the rest of the crew?" he asked, looking like a kid begging for a puppy.

We looked at each other, hoping that the other would give an answer. Since it seemed like he was waiting for me to say something, I responded, "Fine. No names, no numbers, no genders."

"Aww, but then what am I supposed to tell everyone?" he asked.

"You're the captain, you think of something."

Jim turned to Spock, "You're a diplomat's son, you think of something."

Spock rose to the occasion magnificently. "Lieutenant Uhura, transmit the following message to the entire ship."

"Yes, sir," she replied, dutifully.

"Attention all personnel. Command has just received word that Lieutenants Misarte and Sulu are expecting a family. We extend our congratulations."

* * *

_I had always planned on going along with the results of the poll, but I wasn't expecting it to be a six-way tie. Lol. _

_Oh, and before anyone comments on this, I had my son before _Heroes_ aired. It's just a very amusing(and in ZachQ's case, very sexy) coincidence._


	20. I should have seen that coming

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone, and again, I would like to point out that I ****have**** researched all of the medical information presented regarding the pregnancy. Although the odds are astronomically against naturally conceiving sextuplets, it is not impossible. On a much lighter note: it's just fiction. :) **

**Youtube video for this chapter:**

**http:// www. youtube .com/ watch? v=k4zzxkzcG4Y&feature=related**

* * *

As Hikaru and I walked to the bridge, escorted by Jim and Spock, I could feel the eyes of our fellow crewmembers upon me. They were staring with such intensity, I thought that they were trying to see inside my body so that they could get a better look at what they assumed was only one baby.

Ugh, if I thought the staring was bad, how would I ever be able to deal with everyone groping my stomach once I started showing? I had seen this so many times before, it wasn't even funny: as soon as the mother is visibly pregnant, everybody has to touch her belly.

Attempting to distract myself from the uncomfortableness of our trek to the bridge, I whispered to Hikaru, "I guess this means no more fencing lessons for a while."

"Probably not," he replied, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I think that was all a part of your master plan to keep me from getting better than you at fencing," I suggested, with a teasing smile.

"It is highly illogical to suggest that Lieutenant Sulu impregnated you in an attempt to delay your development as a swordswoman," Spock argued.

"It was a joke," I informed him, shaking my head at his ignorance.

Hikaru was still uncomfortable being so close to McLogic. "You swear that you're not going to eat my brain?" he asked, eyeing the Commander suspiciously.

"I assure you, I have no desire to consume your cerebral matter."

"Yeah, you _say_ that," he said, trying to get away from Spock without putting me in harm's way either.

"Lieutenant Misarte."

"Sir?"

"I suggest that you refrain from allowing Lieutenant Sulu to view 'television shows'."

"Yes, sir," I replied with a little salute.

When we finally made it to the bridge, Lucy was livid. Ignoring the three men accompanying me, she strode right up to me and asked, "Is it true?"

"Have you ever known a Vulcan to lie?" I replied, reveling in the satisfaction of being able to answer her question with one of my own.

"Captain?" she asked, pretending I no longer existed. She wasn't going to stop investigating until she got a concise answer to her inquiry.

"Affirmative. I heard the news from Bones himself. They really are going to be parents," Jim informed her.

"Does this mean you vill be getting married?" Chekov asked innocently.

"Now, now, Mister Chekov. It's the 23rd century. Two people don't have to get married just because they're going to be parents," Jim replied indulgently.

"Hmm," Hikaru mumbled, looking thoughtful.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering if Chekov's questions had made him uncomfortable.

"It's nothing," he replied convincingly, waving away my question. "Excuse me for a minute, Selene. Captain?"

Jim, who had now taken his place in the command chair, looked up. He summoned Hikaru forward. They began whispering conspiratorially to each other. I didn't like the way Jim was grinning; it could only mean that the two of them were plotting something terrible. At long last, Jim stood. "Attention on deck!"

Everyone rose from their post and stood at full attention, except Hikaru, who walked over to me…And knelt down! Holy fuck balls! He was going to ask me to marry him! Against my will, a few tears leaked from the corner of my eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones.

"Selene, will you-"

"YES!" I shouted, throwing my arms around him with such force that we wound up falling to the floor, laughing and grinning like idiots, as the whole bridge started applauding and wolf-whistling. Lucy, however, walked right off the bridge without another word to any of us.

"Hey! Be careful with her, Sulu," Jim warned, as he helped me to my feet. "She's in a delicate condition."

"You're telling me," Hikaru replied, with a roll of his eyes.

Jim laughed before addressing my older sister. "Spock, you know what to do."

With a nod, he turned to Uhura, who patched him through to the entire ship again. "Lieutenant Sulu has just proposed marriage to Lieutenant Misarte. She has accepted his offer."

"Damn. Now we have to tell my brothers," I mumbled, folding my arms across my chest. "About both bits of news."

"Go ahead," Jim said happily. "I'd pay to see their reactions."

"Actually, sir, I wanted to tell them myself, from the privacy of my own quarters," I requested.

"Permission granted, he acquiesced sadly, dismissing me from the bridge.

Once I had returned to my room, I asked Uhura to establish a five-way comm., which she was able to do quickly and efficiently. My brothers were confused at first, and I didn't blame them. After all, what could I possibly need to talk to all five of them about?

"Guys, I have something to tell you."

"We kind of figured," Sean smirked.

"Two things, actually."

"Well, don't keep us in suspense," Cedric grinned.

"I'm getting married."

"WHAT?!" Patrick howled, outraged.

"To who?!" Kevin asked, just as his wife entered the room.

"Helmsman, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu," she answered dreamily.

Damn telepathic Betazoids.

"Him?!" Orlando shouted.

"Wait, we've never met him. What's he like?" Cedric asked.

Ignoring his question, I revealed my second bit of news. "And, I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?!" the five of them shouted in unison.

"I'll kill him," Patrick hissed.

"With sextuplets," Kevin's wife elaborated.

While my brothers were stunned into silence, I spoke to her. "Thanks, Aurora. I wasn't planning to tell them that part."

"Sorry."

Yeah, like she meant that.

_I did mean it._

Stay out of my brain, Aurora.

_Why?_

I already have to put up with one touch-telepath, and I don't want to deal with another telepath who doesn't give me any warning.

_Oh! A Vulcan! Very nice. Commander Spock, right? I heard you served aboard the _Enterprise_. Wait until my friend Lwaxana hears about this._

You're quite the gossip.

_I can't help it. When you hear all of the things that I do, you _have _to tell someone._

Please. Get out of my head.

_Do I have to?_

Yes.

_Really?_

Yes. Why don't you go play in Kevin's skull instead?

_Oh, good suggestion._

"Why are they just staring at each other like that?" Sean asked, looking a bit concerned.

"Telepathic conversation," Kevin explained.

"Does she do that a lot?" Orlando asked, referring to Aurora.

"All the time."

"I bet that gets annoying," Cedric said.

"You have no idea," Kevin agreed.

"Hey!" Patrick shouted. "Aren't we forgetting that someone has knocked up our little sister?"

"Yeah! Let's go over to the _Enterprise_ and kick his ass!" Orlando suggested.

"I _would_ like to have a word with this guy…" Sean confessed.

"Guys, please don't," I pleaded.

"We want to meet him, too!" Cedric and Kevin chimed in.

"I'm begging you guys, don't!"

"See you soon, sis," they all replied, terminating the comm.

As quickly as possible, I paged the bridge. "Captain, this is Lieutenant Misarte requesting that a full-time security detail be assigned to Lieutenant Sulu for his own protection until further notice."

"What's up, Misarte? Feel another mood swing coming on?" he teased.

"No, sir. My brothers found out that he's the one who got me pregnant, because my Betazoid sister-in-law can't keep her mouth shut. And, now they're coming here. All 5 of them!"

"I don't see what the big deal is," he shrugged.

Just then, we received a transmission from the transporter room. "Sir, five armed men have just beamed aboard, claiming to be the brothers of a crewmember. Orders, sir?"

"Lieutenant Misarte, head to the transporter room and see if you can calm them down. Lieutenant Sulu, run for your life."

By the time I had gotten down to the transporter room, security officers had already disarmed my brothers, who were still looking incredibly grumpy. "What do you idiots think you're doing?!" I shouted, giving them the sternest look I could manage.

Cedric and Kevin rushed forward to hug me, but the other three looked like they wanted to murder the next male who didn't share a good portion of my DNA that came near me.

"Don't give me that crap," Orlando retorted. "You tied Mom and I in one go, and dammit, I'm going to beat the crap out of the guy who did it to you."

"You say that like I had no choice in the matter," I replied. "Now, I want all of you to listen to me. I'm not going to let any of you lay a hand on my fiancé and the father of my children. Are we clear?"

Ever the disagreeable one, Patrick replied, "What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'll have any of you who gives us any trouble brought up on charges of trespassing and harassment, which the captain wanted to do already. Since I am the only thing between the lot of you and a whole round of dishonorable discharges, I suggest that you do not aggravate me," I threatened before storming out of the room to let Security handle them any way they chose.

_No one's POV_

Later that night, Captain Kirk emerged from Lieutenant Sulu's quarters after a lengthy discussion, and Jim Kirk did not look pleased.

"The word, sir?" Ensign Chekov asked hopefully.

"The word is 'no'. I am therefore doing it anyway!"

"What action are you intending to perfom now, sir?" Spock asked. He had been walking by and had heard what Jim was saying.

"My dear Spock, I am going to plan Lieutenant Sulu's bachelor party," he answered with an evil grin.

"Fascinating."

_Selene's POV_

"My Sulu senses are tingling."

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_Review or I'll have Sylar(ZQ) eat your brains._


	21. Please forgive me

**A/N: Debt of eternal gratitude to Rita Arabella Black for collaborating with me on this chapter. Also, Selene's rambling is something that I experienced when I was pregnant with my son. I would just ramble on inanely about the stupidest things. And, I could keep going until somebody would point out what I was doing. It amused my theatre friends greatly.**

**By the way, I had a load of trouble writing this chapter. I cried so hard in several places that I had to stop typing so I could hug Sylar(again, my son; not the brain-raping serial killer from **_**Heroes**_**).**

**Don't hate me.**

**Youtube video for this chapter: **

**http://www****. /watch? v=7NQcxZFMihU**

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After a stern talking to from Jim, my brothers were all sent back home. Unfortunately for them, Cedric and Kevin never did get to see Hikaru. Well, they'd see him eventually at the wedding, if I invited them. Which I probably would; after all, Cedric and Kevin were the only two who had come with the intention of just being able to meet him, not beat the crap out of him.

That night at dinner, Christine and I sat at the table in our room, munching on the brownies I had prepared. I had a now-understandable craving for the chewy chocolatey goodness that was brownies.

When she told me that McCoy _wanted_ her to leave the _Enterprise_, I almost stood up with every intention of marching down to Medical and kicking him so hard he would never be able to get Christine in the same condition I was presently in. But, I patiently listened to her finish venting.

"How come everybody in the universe is happy about this but me? 'Oh Christine, it's wonderful!' All I want to do is wrapped myself in a tiny ball and pretend it's not happening. My parents are all excited, 'Christine's coming home!' Whoopee shit. What am I going to do? And McCoy's no help. 'It'll be good for you. I won't have to worry about you. Now I can go off and screw Marcella. Bitch.' What about what Christine wants? Shit. I'm tired of pleasing everybody."

Then, I let her know exactly what I was thinking.

"It's admirable that he wants to keep you safe, but if he wants you to be happy, he needs to realize that nursing, the Enterprise, and him are what makes you happy. If you take that research job, you would lose everything that makes your life mean something. And, I don't think he wants that for you."

"If you don't want to do it, don't let anyone talk you into doing it, not even McCoy or Starfleet. Would you rather resign your comission of your own free will or allow yourself to be forced into doing something like a trained animal? Stand up for yourself."

She pondered my response, but didn't look like she wanted to say anything else about it. So, I decided to change the subject.

"So, I take it you've heard about me and my ever-expanding family," I began, looking at her over the top of my brownie. "I know you've got something to say about that, so let's hear it."

"Okay, after I've successfully castrated your fiance, and knocked you in the  
head, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? You know they've figured out how that happens you know," she said, disapprovingly.

"Hey, you can't hit me. I'm pregnant!" I said, dropping my brownie so that I could protect my head if she decided to actually hit me. "And, honestly, I wasn't really thinking about anything when it happened. Besides, you don't even know the worst of it yet," I added with a sheepish grin. "It's not just one kid. It's six."

"Six kids?! My God, Selene, you've having a litter," she replied, her jaw agape.

That comment stung. I didn't intend to get pregnant nor to have that many kids, and to be compared to a dog or the Vulcan armadillo, which usually gave birth to sextuplets, really hurt my feelings. "I thought you'd be happy for me," I responded, starting to cry a little. God, I hated those mood swings.

"Oh, don't cry, I'm sorry," she urged, handing me a nearby napkin so that I could wipe away my tears. "Yes, I'm really very happy for you. He'll make a great father. Who knew he had it in him? Just kidding, he's Mr. Studly-stud. And I thought he was gay."

I gasped in shock. "You thought he was gay?! Why the hell would you think that? If you've ever been in bed with him, I swear that thought would never have crossed your mind. But, you can't get in bed with him, because that's where I sleep. Plus, McCoy would kill him, and I like Hikaru alive because I'm not into necrophilia. Then again, if it was with Hikaru, I might not mind that much. But, he wouldn't be able to do anything back. That would be kind of boring, wouldn't it? And,-"

"Selene, you stopped making sense a few minutes ago," Christine pointed out.

"Oh, sorry. And, by the way, the guy you thought was gay asked me to marry him. What do you have to say to that?" I said with a grin.

"Squee! I'm so excited that you're getting married. You'd better it soon or you won't find a wedding dress to fit you.I really think you guys are perfect together. Sincerely. I can't wait to see Sulu at the wedding. I don't think I've heard him utter five words since I met him. All this time I thought he was a little shy nerdy guy. Who knew huh?"

"What? Of course you've never heard him say anything. You're never around him. We're always up on the bridge, and you're down in Medical doing it on examination tables with McCoy," I teased. "But if you're not too busy shagging the living daylights out of each other, perhaps you could find the time to be my Maid of Honor."

"Are you kidding? Of course I'll be your maid of honor. If you don't mind me crying through the ceremony," she beamed, reaching across the table to grab another brownie.

"Duh, of course I wouldn't mind. Hell, I'll be crying too," I told her. I paused for a while, thinking about something that would cause both of us a fair bit of upset, especially considering what Christine was already facing.

"Hey, Christine," I began hesitantly. "How would you feel if I left the _Enterprise _to raise the kids? I mean, one I could get away with. But, we all remembered what happened the last time I had a large number of kids on board."

"This is just too painful to imagine. My hetero life mate gone. Who'll bake me brownies? Who'll cry with me after McCoy's broken my heart for the hundredth time? Who else will help me plot the deaths of the bitches who try to take McCoy away from me?" she asked, looking more depressed than she had before.

"Stop it," I pleaded, starting to tear up again. "Damn it. Now you've made me start crying again. It was just a hypothetical question. But, now I suppose I'll have to find some way to stay here. I can't just abandon you like that. Maybe I could hire someone to baby-sit full-time for me," I hypothesized, reaching across the table to hug her.

The hug ended abruptly as I stepped back. "Something's wrong, Christine," I said, already fearing the worst.

"Sit down, you're white as a ghost, are you in pain?" The look on her face only confirmed my suspicions.

"No. I-" I doubled over, feeling as though I had been stabbed in the stomach. "Oh my God, something's happening."

"I have to get you to sick bay." She said, activating her communicator. "This is Lt. Chapel. I need a gurney to my quarters, stat!"

I was bent over from the immense pain. "It hurts. My babies, Christine I'm losing my babies!" I was hysterical, and I knew it. Then, I felt damp. I looked down and saw that I was standing in a pool of blood.

"Relax, sweetie, it'll be okay." She hit the communicator button again. "Tell Mr. Sulu to meet his fiancée in sick bay. We're headed there now." She held me as I cried. I barely registered it as she grabbed a towel, wet it and began wiping my face. Then, she punched the communicator harder. "Get me the god damn gurney now!"

Everything started moving in slow motion, whether it was from emotional shock or blood loss, I couldn't tell. The medical team burst through the door and had me strapped in and on the way to sick back in less than a minute.

"Dr. McCoy," she said into her personal communicator. "Selene's in distress. Please meet us in sick bay."

I was sobbing and holding my belly. It hurt so bad, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Blood was streaming down my legs staining the blanket I was covered in.

She held my hand and ran along side me. She kissed my hand and tried to reassure me. She kept telling me everything was going to be all right. Neither of us really believed her. But, I was more grateful then I could ever adequately express that she was there with me, supporting me. Where was Hikaru?

The doors to medical burst open. For a moment, I was blinded by the bright lights, the next, I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was still lying on a gurney. I felt like I had just tried to race the _Enterprise_ across the galaxy. Not only that, I felt empty. Not physically, because there was no way I could have felt them yet. But, still, I could feel their absence. For children I didn't even know existed a few days ago, I had never wanted them more.

How would Hikaru react? I had failed. Would he still want to marry me? Did he only propose because of the children? Now that they were gone, would that grief and loss tear our relationship apart?

I blinked, still staring up at the ceiling. Sound rushed back into my world. "Sulu, she's awake!" Christine called joyfully. I turned to my left, the direction I had heard her voice. She was still holding my hand. Tears had continued to flow down her face even after I was unconscious, apparently.

I heard a vague mumbling from the corner. Again, I turned, this time to the right. Hikaru was huddled in the corner, looking like he had aged a century since I had seen him last at the party the night before. I couldn't bear the expression of pain on his face, not with the pain I had already suffered.

"Dammit! One of you say something!"

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, my voice hollow.

"Anything you need to." She gave my hand a little squeeze. "There is one bit of good news. One of them survived."

A tiny ray of hope made its way through the storms of anguish that had clouded around my heart and mind. I was speechless.

"One of the boys," she continued. "He's perfectly healthy."

"Hikaru, please say something," I asked, starting to cry again, overwhelmed by emotion. I thought I had lost all six of them, but whatever higher power exists allowed me to keep one. I would never ask it for anything again.

"Like what? You want me to tell you how frightened I was when I heard Medical tell the bridge that there was an emergency involving you? You want me to tell you how horrified I was when I came in and saw you lying on a gurney, pale as death, and thought for those agonizing minutes that not only had I lost our kids, but that I had lost you, too? Is that what you want me to tell you?" he replied, sounding half-angry, half-depressed.

"I just want you to tell me that you still love me and want to marry me," I sobbed.

"You idiot, of course I still want to marry you!" he replied, rising from his chair in the corner, and wrapping his arms around me.

Christine and the rest of the medical staff still present gracefully withdrew, giving us some privacy.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, allowing my tears to stain his golden shirt.

"What are you apologizing for now?" he asked, holding me a bit tighter.

"For failing you and our kids," I confessed, in the same way someone would confess to a murder.

"That's bullshit. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it. Stop beating yourself up over this," he begged. "Otherwise, you're going to give yourself a nervous breakdown. And, I don't think I could handle losing you, especially not now."

"Just hold me," I pleaded. He obliged, and we remained in that position for an indeterminate amount of time.

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_Feedback is always appreciated._


	22. A Happy Ending

**A/N: Oh my god, you guys! I am so sorry for the lack of update; my personal life has been crazy as hell. Good news: I passed my math class, so no more math for me EVER. Even Better news: I'm three months pregnant! Holy-Shit-I-Swear-I'm-Not-Making-This-Up news: it's fraternal twin boys. Talk about art imitating life: I write about multiples, and then I get knocked up with multiples. I've already decided on names: Peter Milo(Lol, with an older brother named Sylar Gabriel, I'm probably setting myself up for some epic sibling rivalry) and Zachary John. Tell me what you think.**

**And, now, I am sad to announce that this is the final chapter of Lt. Sulu. Maybe if the muse strikes me, I'll write a sequel about them raising their son on the **_**Enterprise**_**. Until then, thank you so much for sharing this story with me.**

**Youtube video of the week: www. /watch?v=WP5NkW-LtC0

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**_Eight Months Later_

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" I bellowed at my husband, who bravely kept holding my hand.

"You were the one who wanted to give birth as naturally as possible," he retorted, placing a kiss on my sweaty forehead.

"Screw that! Give me the drugs, Doc!" I pleaded, as I was hit by another contraction.

"Sorry. It's too late for that, _Mrs. Sulu_. You're almost ten centimeters dilated."

"Please tell me that means that this is almost over," I pleaded. "I'm not sure how much longer I can take this!" I had already been in labor for almost 24 hours. **(A/N: My aunt holds the family record with 72 hours in labor before being taken in for a C-section.)**

"Once you get to ten centimeters, you can start pushing," he explained.

"Good, because I am so ready for this little son of a bitch to be out of me already," I grunted between contractions.

"Hey, that's my wife you're talking about," Hikaru teased, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

Meanwhile, I was trying to break his hand while simultaneously shooting a watermelon out of my stomach. "I'm not in the mood right now!" I hissed.

"Sorry, dear," he said good-naturedly.

It was easy for him to be all smiles and happy-go-lucky: HE WASN'T THE ONE GIVING BIRTH! "Urgh. I am never letting you touch me after this, you bastard!" I swore.

I felt something strange. So, I turned quizzically to Doctor McCoy. "I need to push," I told him.

He gave me a quick exam. "Ten centimeters. Next time you feel the need to push, push," he instructed. "You ready to be a dad?" he asked my husband.

"It's kind of funny. I've had almost a year to prepare for this, and I still don't feel any more ready for this then I did when I first heard the news. It still doesn't seem real to me. I-"

"You know, I'd be more than happy to change places with you. I could be chatting with the doctor while _you_ try to bring our child into the world. How does that sound?" I suggested menacingly. Oh, he would be lucky if I didn't castrate him as soon as I was physically able to.

I felt that strange sensation through the pain of contractions again. I looked to McCoy, who nodded. "Take a big breath in, and then push for ten seconds."

I took a deep breath and pushed as the doctor counted for me. Hikaru rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. It was more distracting than helpful. But, I was too busy elsewhere to mention it to him.

"Good job," McCoy assured me, sounding nicer than I could ever remember him being before.

The three of us turned as we heard the door whoosh open as two uninvited guests entered the room: the captain and first officer. "We heard Selene was still in labor, so we decided to come by and check out her progress," Kirk said, gazing around the room, and nodding approvingly.

"Thank you for making me sound like a fucking project, Jim," I grunted as another contraction began.

"I attempted to persuade the captain that it would be illogical to visit you uninvited while you endeavored to give birth to your young." Only my older sister could make an excuse sound that intelligent.

"Thanks, Spock. But, why are _you_ here?" I asked, before I began pushing again.

"Captain's orders," he replied, looking as dejected as it was possible for him to look while still looking completely emotionless.

"And who the hell let you in here while I AM GIVING BIRTH?!" I screeched at Jim, just as I felt my son's head enter the birth canal. Holy shit, that hurt!

"I'm the Captain. I'm allowed anywhere," he replied smugly.

Oh, I was going to smother him with the afterbirth. "GET OUT!" I screamed at him.

"You heard her, Jim. Chief Medical Officer and all that, so get out," McCoy said. I could have kissed him. Jim may have had authority everywhere else, but in the medical bay, McCoy was God.

Jim grumbled as he left, kicking at the floor as he left.

"You too, Spock," he instructed.

"No," I argued.

Two pairs of shocked male eyes, and one pair of terrified ones looked at me. "What?" McCoy asked, confused.

"I want Spock to stay," I explained. If I was going to suffer, I was going to make sure everyone else was going to suffer too. Since Jim wanted to be here, I kicked him out. And since Spock wanted to be anywhere _but_ here, I was going to make him stay.

"Really, Lieutenant, I am honored that you desire my presence, but I am afraid I must decline your…" he trailed off, going pink in the face. **(A/N: Since humans go green when they're sick, I assume green-blooded Vulcans go pink when they're sick)**

"Alright, Selene. One more push and your son will be out. Now, push!"

The world went silent for a moment, and then, I heard someone crying, and then another person was crying. The second person sounded a lot deeper and older than the first. Wait, the second person was me. Everything seemed to happen in sequence after that.

"Congratulations," Spock murmured before escaping as fast as he could.

"You did it," Hikaru whispered, pressing a kiss against my cheek.

"Your son," McCoy said, gently laying the squalling infant in my arms.

He was beautiful, even screaming his little lungs out. His head was covered by a patch of wispy black hair. When his eyes were open, I saw that they were a dark blue, something that would probably change: most babies were born with blue eyes which would change color as they got older.

"Can I come back in yet, Bones?" Jim asked from outside.

I nodded without once looking away from the little miracle in my arms.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant," Jim said, walking over to my bedside and looking down at my son and I as though he were the father of the baby.

"The name?" McCoy asked, preparing to fill out the proper forms.

"Naoki," Hikaru began.

"Gabriel," I finished. We had agreed that he would get to choose the first name, but I would get to choose the middle name.

McCoy nodded and wrote it down. Jim, meanwhile, strutted over to the nearest comm. and paged the bridge.

"Uhura, patch me in to the rest of the ship," he instructed.

"Yes, sir," she complied.

"Attention everyone. Let's hear a big round of applause for Hikaru and Selene Sulu, who have just given birth to their first son, Naoki Gabriel Sulu. There will be a party in the mess hall tomorrow night celebrating the newest addition to the crew of the _Enterprise_," Jim announced.

As overjoyed as I was, there was something missing from the moment. Christine. No matter how badly both of us wanted her to be here, she wasn't able to get leave since it wasn't her or an immediate family member giving birth. Apparently, Starfleet doesn't recognize hetero life-mate as a legitimate relationship.

However, Hikaru and I would be able to show her the fruit of my labor the next time she visited the _Enterprise_.

My eyes started drooping. God, I was exhausted. I handed Hikaru our son, and curled over on my side. I was so tired, I didn't even care about all of the chattering and noise. I just closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I needed to get as much sleep as I could before all of the midnight feedings began._

* * *

I like the name Gabriel. Sue me._


	23. Author's Note

**To all of the readers of Lt. Sulu who had the story on Alert: the sequel is now up. If you want to know what happens next, want to see Selene's perspective on my favorite TOS episodes, or just want to read something, I invite you to read the sequel.**

**You can find it at: /s/5398784/1/Childrearing_on_the_Enterprise**


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